i am really tired of life now.
only thirteen and i feel like giving all up.
everything's a mess and i feel like nothing i do can clear it up.
i just can't tolerate how i have to put up with assing attitudes,
childish behaviour and mostly ignorance.
i am so tired , i wish i can drop school for th moment and hibernate for months
and wish when i wake up, everything will be bettr.
i know i sound like i am running away from reality and
being a coward but really i am just sick of it luh.
my happiness,my efforts .all rather short lived.
and i guess things are just forever always on th run,
people just keep on changing emotions,
going into different modes,
you having to chase after them,
its not easy, and its so fucking fustrating.
tiring.especially when things go for a good turn
and then you pin your hopes up,and then it takes
another twist just to make your hopes,happiness
come crashing down.it's then when it really hits you luh.
and then it hurts even more.
and then people like me,who just go on brooding over it
wanting to do something big to make things better,
but has either too much pride,too little courage,or just chooses
to go for ignorance.
and what i hate most is how it can affect me,hit me badly.
and how the other party just doesn't give a damn.
giving in is not a duty but comes from a person's heart or willingness.
we give in not expecting give ins from others th next time.
but sometimes it really pisses you when the person just
refuses to do anything about it
to save a friendship or a relationship.
and then there's th most important thing,
a lack of communication.
it can just quietly destroy it.
th way i see it, that's what's going for us.
and we cant forever be like taht.
you know how much limited time there is,
and you know,that no matter what,you have no choice
and things will go according to plan luh.
so why are we wasting so much time.
you know,even if you don't tell me anything,
don't speak your feelings out,
you are not good at hiding them,and i can tell.
you do mind,i understand.
and i partly don't blame you.
i hate to say this but its time you gave it a rest and
maybe things will get slightly better.
maybe you just don't get it,but handling so many
relationships and trying to keep them close to you
is not easy and it can get really tiring,
especially when i can't be there for both parties.
you just think lah,what do i really have.
and i know you know taht things are a little empty.
and something's just not right and not th same.
and we refuse to bring it up,
it gets kinda akward.
taht's how it is.
and if you don't do anything about it,
i'll tell you.
all is really gonna be lost.
and getting it back is not easy.
so can we at least do something.
....
stop th ignorance.
i so hate it!
hate it!

SERENA, RIOTOUS 14 (?) !
8 september 1994
KUKUTRIBIAN;SO JUBILANTE !
BARKING MAD & LOVING IT
HIGHLY DELIRIOUS
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ONLY IMPERSONATORS WONT BE TOLERATED
CAN'T STAND SUCH COWARDLY FAKEYPHONIES
I BLAZING LOVE JOHNNYDEPP
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