omg hello old friend.
its the year 2011 already.
youve been stagnant, frozen and completely abandoned,
and i must say forgotten.
hahahaha its been two years since my last post.
so much has happened you have no idea.
when i read my last post and think of how far ive come,
it doesnt amaze me but scares me.
had i known at that time, the very same day that that would be my last post and what was in store for me, i dont know how i wouldve actually dealt with it.
terrifying thought.
and honestly its only here that ive always been able to let go and say whatever i want to say.
i have never been more honest with anyone else.
so dependant i am on you that i talk to you like youre an actual person when i reality
you dont exist and youre just a bunch of codes words and numbers formed but even stl, so important cos these are all my thoughts and memories.
and if thats not precious enough to me, i dont know what else could be.

JEEZ !

im writing in after not being here for ages!!!!
i feel like a total stranger in my own blog .
how odd .

was actually halfway to signing up for LJ , but i just gave up and came back here cos i
feel (as odd as it may sound) as if im abandoning a friend .
LOL .


i even got a name for my lj . its so random , idk whr it came from .
a lightbulb just went off in my head and POOF , there you have it . haha
well i wont disclose it here first .
when its set up , ill tell ya'll :)

anws , whr do i begin ....
i seem so chirpy and all , but things are actually not going too sweet lately ....
but for the good and nice stuff first :)

i finally met the girls today !!!
joanna , van , xj , qizhi :)
mag doesnt count cos ive been seeing her since mon but i did miss her plenty during the weekends .
anw we watched 2012 :D
well i think sher and van thought it wasnt as hot as haeundae cos haeundae evoked more emotions .
you know , we koreans know our drama pretty good , so we are good at crying scenes and all that garb , and well , good at making ppl cry , even those stone hearted coldfish people .
anws , 2012 had really awesome effects . loved it .
not being a sadist or anything but it was brilliant suff .
good sherlyn behaved herself . no screaming or shrieking , and she didnt even mess up the place while munching away on her gross octopus sushi in the theatre .
*CLAPS* way to go mag :)

qi zhi meh~ed once though and shrieked . haha i think the ppl behind got a fright . haha
and she didnt cry .
she did have the hots for the tibetian monk , temzin , if im not wrong .
well he is kinda cute w the adorable puppy eyes and all , but he's a monk (thou its a movie)
so its kinda wrong to crush on monks no matter how hot they may be and totally unholy so yeah... odd .

on the otherside of me meanwhile ,
sherlyn was busy crushing on the russian pilot , sacsha or sth like that .
well he's hot too but he's blond and i dont really have a thing for blondes so NAH .

me and van were busy looking at the russian fishlips guy that talked w this really long drawl in a voice so LOW that if he were in the room , youd feel tremors as he speaks .

we all separated shortly after and van and i went to carls jr .
talked for so long from 6plus all the way to almost 9 .
we have lots on our minds . truly .
i was happy anw cos i missed her so much last week during my "OPERATION QUARRANTINE HOMIE" proj .

reached home 10plus .
had a splitting headache after leaving th theatre and it hasnt gone away up till now .
my eye keeps jumping too .
either someones missing me so badly or my eyes are just extremely sore and tired .
lol . it jumped for so long , i actually stood in front of the mirror to observe it . cool sick stuff haha .

speaking of sick , this effing unknown person sent a msg to my phone , a no i dont recognise ,
and its a picture of a woman being penetrated .
more like my phone's been penetrated with filthy stuff . i hope my files dont corrupt or something .
who'd send such sicko fatman's porno to me ?!
i have an unknown enemy i think .
well whoever you are , speak up , man ...
crazy ppl out thr .

anws , enough of this gross stuff , had my last papers today in the morning . emaths 2 and bio .
gawd . maths paper 2 was HORRIBLE . i know i cant do maths for nuts but this was bad .
and leng leng the unmerciful .sigh .

the 1st qs nearly made me pull out my hair !
same for sher and bryan and wenting .
i took 3ominsplus t do it dammit .
and plus there was band doing scales and marching , shouting ,
sherlyn giving great big sighs (cos of her breathing prob) and the boy in front of her kept cracking his neck ,
at a rate of 10 every 5 minutes . it drove me nuts ! cos it looked so comical and distracting . i looked down but could still see him out of the corner of my eye .
TERRIBLE !
and ytd i was taking physics , i was trying to contain my laughter becos of that and i was like umqiu-ing and the tr saw and prob thought i found the physics easy but it was NOT !
ms lew rreally wants me to drop . sigh .


bio was easy but i screwed so many qs up .
i cant promote im so sure of it .
im thinking of my sad and unstable future now cos i refuse to retain .
i want to leave amk and i have a shrewd idea as to what i might call as my back up plan
but thats not the thing , i really want to take O's nxt yr dammit . and graduate with 4/2 and with my beautiful awesome friends . omg i love ya'll so much i dont want to leave .


the past one week plus has been total hell for me .
i swear i was so worked up abt this reexam , i never even thought abt all the other stuff thats usually swimming in my mind like
the fact that im fat
about the person i like
abt friends probs
abt my sis getting psle results nxt week .

my phone hasnt had $ in it for one week plus .
i hardly used the comm .
didnt step out of my front door .
and was so tensed up and caught in the full time company of books books and nth but books .
i mean math math and more math oh and physics and blargh ,
that (dont barf)
i didnt bathe for 2 days straight .
walked arnd in the same clothes for 2 days .
eww gross coming to think of it .
and ive been having a rich diet of milo dinos , milocereals , and milopowder .
no kidding , im so sad , i just eat the powder right out of the container .

then ive been scrafing down salami salami , hickory honey baked ham and more salami . ooh and my mum made bacon like 3 days' bfast so yeah . i was a sick unhealthy person loaded on all this rotten processed junkshits .
oh and yes i ate lotsof omelettes . and my omelette consists of 3 eggs for one . and lots of mushroom and cheese . and i could eat 3 omelettes a day .
sick .
and yes my mum bought youtiaos and i just ate 3 of them straight . the long long ones .
yes and when i wasnt drinking milos , it was milk milk milk .
and i finished all my dads ice cream as usual .

i think im gonna get a coronary soon .
i ate so much my back hurt . and i could almost hear my intestines crumple .
thats how bad the stress level got .
i have nvr been under so much pressure before .


so im detoxing for the next few days .
ill never slim down man and look normal if i keep doing this .
this is so upsetting .
ROFL.



anw im outta steam . tired of writing abt all that food again ...
just really hope to meet up with jeng soon . havent talked or seen you for like forever man !
we need to talk . next tues w vanny . (not tt you'll happen to read this) but i really need to catch up on stuff !
oh and nick and ernest too .
hope you guys come back real soon .
we are all missing you here .


okay going now .
ill try to come back and write more .
BYE :D

Labels: back :)

back writing in finally after a long time .



on bad terms with dad .
extremely affected by this but wont say much .
he left for korea early this morning . told him to have a safe flight with a very stiff voice .
made me sad to hear how cold and emotionless i sounded .
i never want to hear myself speak like that to him again .


school , i dont remember much .
begged ms tay to let me join netball again .
told her the treatments and doing stretching had eased my back discomfort and pain by quite alot so i am actually feeling way better these days but she said no .


she said theres no point cos ill be in the rec team anw since sec twos and better players will take up all the places for next years zonals but my motive wasnt to even play for school ?
i dont have that kind of ambition anymore .


all i wanted was to get back together w teamaties again cos ive drifted apart from them quite a bit and i miss playing netball i guess ?
and im really getting unfit and FAT , fatter i mean
but she said no .
NO .
honestly , besides the whole " im worried you might injure your back again blargh " that she told me which i know is sincere , i know , WE all know its also cos im not a valuable player so losing me is really no biggie .
i guess im cool with that but just sad i guess .


so now ive been unceromoniously dumped in art club .
i dont know what im supposed to do there .
really i dont know how to explain how i feel about this arrangement .
i never get it easy in life so doesnt really come as a surprise i guess .
ho hum .

i felt really down during maths .
not the first time im gonna say this but it really eats me when i realise how much i cant do when it comes to maths .
eats me
really .
and vannyssa said maybe its time i discovered ace learning so ace learning it is ! tomorrow .
sigh .
feel extremely defeated and worn down today .
inside .



had class drama discussion/rehearsal today during VE & after school .
vanny was having a hard time to get the guys to settle down .
a total feat as they are extremely hyped all the time and well we all know how they are like .


she put me as the grown up belinda and i guess i dont really mind all that much since ill only have 2 scenes . which is pretty cool i guess seeing as how i have lack of confidence in front of large audiences and stage fright and lets face it , im not a good actress . hehe
but ill do my best ,


im just really worried that ernest and jeng will burst out laughing when they talk to each other during the acting .
really worried .
dont screw this one up guys !

rushed to hub for HP & half blood prince after that .
jeng bailed on us but i guess he has his reasons so its not a problem .
just hope things arent going too bad for you , if you get my drift .
benson the rock just wanted to go home as usual .
i mean if i had a house like his , i think ill be like that too .
i really talk alot do i .
depressing .

hub closest timings all sold out .
rushed to jubilee and we managed to get seats .
and we saved 50 cents ;] 5.50 only for our tickets .
at least thats something to smile about cos , people and fans of j.k rowling's harry potter , if youre one of them like i am , ill tell you this .
the movie SUCKED .
PERIOD .

firstly the kissing scene was horrible ,
secondly , they messed up and changed lots of stuff and even added in stuff that never appeared in the text (the book)
thirdly , voldemort is described as tall dark handsome and has dark eyes and hollow cheeks with dark glamour and the tom riddle , esp the scene with slughorn in the memory , he looked nothing like it .
he is the nephew of ralph fiennes who plays lord voldy , but who says he could be the child voldy .
where was the voldy tom riddle they used in chamber of secrets .
BAD , so BAD .

and the fighting scene last part should be more active with aurors and death eaters battling in the school and all that hoopla , but it was all missing .

and the dumbest of all , they hardly talked abt the half blood prince .
and slughorn looks nth like slughorn !
and ginny is supposed to be ravishing and cormac is supposed to be irritating and broad and not attractive but its all opposite .
cormac mclaggen was so hot .

thats not the point really but im just saying its not what i pictured really .
and where is fleur and bill ? they never even appeared .
and who said bellatrix and fenrir would set the burrow on fire .
and lupin and tonks only get together at the end !
geez .
a total bummer and mess .
who was the scriptwriter , i'd like to know .


and i couldnt help but laugh at the solemn part of dumbledore lying motionless after snape cursed the avada kedavra and he fell over the battlements but it was funny cos everyone raised their arms and wands and jon told me earlier that day it was like some ndp parade , that kinda stuff , (ok i know you guys dont get it ) but i pictured jon saying that and i looked at it and i just had to hold back the laughter .

sherlyn and nick thought i was crying cos i was covering my face to stop myself from barking .
lol if you understand .

i think i should have watched haunting in connecticut .
i feel bad for j.k. rowling .

oh yes and where was scrimgeour ? never even made a appearance .

ok maybe i should quit insulting the movie but it was a total disappointment .
the trailer made it look so attractive and dark and nice and all but really its nth like it .
shame .
truly .


mus and nick and shi da went home and sherlyn and i went to hub foodcourt cos i was hungry.
so hungry i swear i could have eaten a cow . i think im pregnant with rocks .
not pebbles ernest , rocks .

she left me halfway cos her dad came .
drank bubbletea today after one and a half month .

miserable bus ride home .


reached home , locked myself in the toilet and sang like a total moose .
terrible .

found my sis .
talked to her .

its friday , and all hell breaks loose .
friday after friday , im losing it .
every friday for as long as i can remember .

i hope things will get better in time .

never thought id say this , but thanks for being there for me giulia .
your sister has a really weak mind and is very unsteady and has serious personal issues .


god , help me .
help me love myself .


god , i really want to know how it feels like to feel their love and concern again .
cos real love and unconditional love are two different things to me .
and if anyone out there tells me that people will only accept me when i accept myself , they are damnright wrong about that .

dont tell me that ever .
i will only find true happiness when i can finally accept myself .
im still waiting for that day .


on monday night , i experienced my mother's love , something i havent felt for a long time .
in an open way .
she stayed up the whole night and watched over me and held me as i slept fitfully waking up every hour cos i was in pain .
on wednesday i felt alive and reborn and my heart felt at peace , like nothing could go wrong
after so long .
i felt happy to go back to school and for the first time i woke up thanking god i was alive .
i felt no pain , no jealousy , no hatred , just felt light , happy and at peace with the world .
at that time , i couldnt figure out why i could feel so good when really life was still as bad and tough .
but now its friday and i know .
cos it was feeling safe in my mother's arms again .
it is a sacred thing to me .
i wish never to lose it completely with my mum and dad cos really im losing it slowly .
i never wanted to tell ppl cos i thought they would look down on me or shun me if they knew abt my twisted relationship with my parents but theres no use hiding .

i forgotten what it feels like to be loved .
i dont love myself .
my parents , love me unconditionally but given a choice ,.... btween giulia and me , i know .
look at our sad situation , i know .
my friends.... i dont want to talk abt it . they care for my well being but they dont know half the truth and couldnt care less anyway , its been proven esp to those most dependant on me .
today was the thousandth time i longed to talk to sarah and titi .
if only god knew what great friends had been taken away from me .
i feel so alone these days .

i miss my mum .
i miss my dad .
i miss sarah .
i miss titi .
i miss myself .
people cant tell , but im really very much alone .

to gtb .
and you , i dont know why you do this to me . and so easily too .
after so long . nothing has changed .
i have long given up but i thought that at least i could forget abt it . but it hangs in there like some stubborn stain .
terrible .

to tmgg.
and i really hope you wont seethis as betrayal should you ever find out .
either way , im grateful that its partially over for now .
i can only wish the very best for you .

Labels: i need to stop using paintbrushes .period .

too many things have happened the past few days so ill just talk abt yesterday .

i went hiking with my godparents ! yes i love hiking even though this mountain i did was one of the most difficult ones ive done .
the mountain's called jonggu mountain and well we climbed 3.5km of it and well walking or running on even road seems easy for that distance but climbing up rocks was preety hard . at first there was nice paths to climb on but it got windier , rockier and well you get the picture . it was really a challenge . but the weather was great . some sun , nice breeze , you gotta LOVE the sound of trees and leaves rustling in the breeze and the stream flowing . beautiful .just really angry w myself for frgetting to bring my camera . its in times like these i truly cant forgive myself . pffwt .

but anws . rested every now and then . and i didnt dare rest for long cos i was afraid ill get lazy if i slacken . so mostly i kept going . we finally reached the two pagodas after 3.5km and it was really beautiful . saw a hamster like mouse . omg it was really adorable . and saw a dead snake . disgusting . wildhares too .

and since its my blog and i ramble alot , ill just say the story of the two pagodas .
one was shorter than the other . thats the sister one . and the taller one is the brother one .
well long ago in the goryeo dynasty , there was this monk living all by himself up on this mountain . his mentor had died and he never knew his parents so he lived alone . he took care of the animals , though wild , in the forest . and one day he came across this tiger choking on a bone so he helped the tiger remove the bone .

a few days later ,the tiger returned with a young beautiful girl in a wedding gown (traditional one) fast asleep on its back . the tiger had stoled her on the night of her wedding and decided to give her as a present to the monk to show his gratitude for helping him remove the bone .(seriously it sounds wonky , but thats how the story goes )

anw , this monk was a monk so he couldnt keep the girl as his wife of course , so he decided to return her to her village . but back in the village , she already earned a bad reputation for running off on her wedding night and the girl didntwant to marry the man anw cos it was an arranged marriage and she didnt love him anw . so the monk took care of her and loved her like a sister . the girl fell inlove with the monk , but the monk knew better cos he had already promised to dedicate himself to his god of course , so he told her he will only love her as a sister . (which i must say isimpressive cos how do you actually control your feelings for someone ?) but at least he is nth like the monk i mentioned in my earlierposts . so when this monk and his sister died , they built 2 pagodas and buried them here .


i still find the tiger part hard to believe buth well .
they had stone turtles there too and i sat on one cos it is said to bring good luck if you sit on one but i dont knw really . and i made a small pagoda too andmade a wish .
hopefully it comes true . cos its important .


then we started our descent .
if climbing up was tough , going down is really tricky . my air force nikes , the ones that are dying with the soles torn and holes in the heels , well i wore them and becos there is hardly any friction left , i almost slipped once or twice . and almost sprained my ankle but alls fine .
just that i threw my shoes at the end of the day cos really it was time forhimto go .
gosh i do feel sad . i wore him for 4 years .

anw , i didnt have to worry cos my godparents bought me new pair of shoes . they are really awesome in my opinion but its just too pink . but i love it in any case . and giulia if youre reading this , these pair of addidas are off limits . so you can see but no touch ;D

anws , said goodbyes to god ma and godpa and hopefully i will meet them soon somewhere else .



reached home at 6 and went out for buffet at thisplace called sea & farm and well there is seafood . i ate octopus by accident and i ran to the toilet , to hurl of course . its like chewing rubbery tire . o m g ,how can ppl eat this kinda stuff ?

anw ate alot of course cos yimobu kept saying , im paying 30 bucks for each person , you better eat lot or ill be disappoointed . so i ate a hell lot .
jeez . always eating under pressure .

and yimobu said i was fat and from the way he said it , he hates fat girls . he is so mean to jaimee too just bcos she is nt exactly petite . koreans care way too much abt the outlook and thats very bad . i felt like telling him , he is the one stuffing me with food and he says im so ugly cos im fat . but that didnt affect me at all i dont knw why . and he says the next time i come back to korea , i better be slim . oh well whatever . ill make sure i have the last say . hmph ;D sg boys can be mean but im grateful i dont live in korea .


just walking on the streets and watching tv , i can tell that korean women only think that sharp pointy noses , big eyes and long legs are very nice . of course its all very nice , but they all look the same . its boring . and fake . most koreans do plastic surgery thats why ! even yimobu was the one who asked jaimee to go for surgery to make her double eyelid just cos she was born with single eyelids like most koreans . korea is too vain


that felt good saying all that .
went kbox after that and sang like crazy . jaimee and annie went nuts anw . haha
itried digging up a few english songs and i guess i did enjoy myself ;D


watched sex and the city when got home . then went to sleep .
going out at abt 6 later for bbq pork again . (save me ) and shopping stuff for friends .
ytd i went to the mart and wiped out their whole stock of grape bubblegum but i think its still not enough for everyone back in sg .
so buying more and more today .


cant wait for transformers when i get back .
i know its gonna be sick ! ;D


i dont think im actually prepared for school .

yello ;D

bored to high heaven today . didnt manage to get a good night's sleep cos it was really fitful , with people walking in and out of it , sometimes talking to me but no voice comes out . it felt so real , evrything that happened that i was so relieved when i woke up that it was just a dream .


anws , didnt follow jaimee to the lang school today . i opted to stay home and welluse the comp and do maths . yeah you read it right . do maths . the worse thing isthat yi mo said she would bring a tutor home later to help me with my work . i dont like the idea at all but she kept insisting so fine . sigh i know she is trying to help . but im not in the mood to meet new people . let alone ask them for help in maths and blargh . i want some alone time today to read my holy blood holy grail i am struggling to read cos of the vocab in it . its a terrible and beautiful book .
mhmm .


anws i spend the day exchanging e mails with giulia cos sherlyn and nicholas havent replied my facebook msgs . darn it guys , pls reply me as asap . ill be happy toget mails from peeps in sg . you can talk to me abt anything . even if its about telling me what you ate for breakfast .



anw i was telling my sis this , that if theres one thing i can actually gain from being away from my life and my home in sg , though its only fr 2 weeks , its finally truly learning to cherish and treasure everything you have at home . it is in common logic that we all know that , but you will only truly understand and know what it feels like when you are far from home family and friends .and as much as i may hate home my family and friends at times , (at times , ok) i have finally understood what it means by there is no place like home cos no matter how nice the place imstaying at now is , or no matter how hospitable my hosts are , and nomatter how good and comfortable they make me feel , it isnt the right place to be and not where i can truly feel at home . yeah thats what i learned . and i also learned , as cliched as it sounds , to not takethings for granted too

cos really , i never ever imagined the day would come when i miss home and everything back there and find myself wishing that ill do anything just to see people's faces , hear their voice and laughter , my dog yapping at my ankles , my sister screaming at me and my mum's nagging . it just isnt complete without all that .

i even miss people (you should knw who you are ) who go on and on and on abt stuff . their incessant ramblings , you know , abt nonsensical stuff . ill give anything to hear that , to have that phonecall again when we talked so much abt you know what . i miss my dog truckloads ! all those times i neglected him and didnt bring him for walks on a regular basis . i wish i could do that now ! i really want to hughim . and get this , i wish i was in my room studying .
and i miss a thousand more things . wont elaborate .
the only thing i dont miss yet is the weather and sarah and farah .heehee


and of course i miss my parents .
ive never wanted to see mymum even more .
i really really miss my mum and my dad and sis too.
ah giulia ! wish i couldsee you . and i used to wish that mama and papa could pack you off to some boarding school .


and the yimobu here is not father material at all .
he is wild , outgoing and reckless . and i like that cos i enjoy being in adventurous ppl's company and i find them interesting but he smokes heavily , drinks very often and gets drunk , is flirtatious with his friends wives when his own wife is there and drives at up to 200km/hr on the highway . i love fast rides ,but not on the highway . grunt
it makes me want to go back to my dad .
he is a much more fun in a dadish way .


oh well .

i miss everything


im counting down the days .
p.s. maggot i read the book on abortion on my flight from SG to korea .
it was sad but i didnt cry . only had wet eyes when i saw the x ray pictures of the baby . cos it looked so sad that she didnt have a skull and how could anyone kill something so small and helpless ??


i was thinking do my friends that say they miss me only want me back cos i try my best to help them and are more less always there for them or do they really miss my prescence ? sometimes i feel that they take me for granted . qz agrees and i wonder if im just thinking too much or being too selfish .

its 2 am in the morning .
got back from busan at around 8 and ate little for dinner .
hardly had appetite for anything .
food doesnt seem to please me these days .
blargh .


anws , this morning we went for a hike up this mountain .
i forgot its name . but i love hiking so i enjoyed myself .
weather was great so i hardly perspired .
saw mountain goats and i was thinking there would be mountain tigers too so i was really worried and kept my eyes peeled and ha , armed myselfwith a long stick .
when i told jaimee that iwas keeping a lookout for tigers , she laughed at me making me feel like an idiot . shesaid there were no tigers cos there was civilisation there . ho hum .

the only danger that i came across while hiking was bumping the front of my forehead on this low cave ceiling . imagine the amount of braincells that i killed and im not that bright already.
HEEHAW.


went to eat at this farm fr lunch .
no appetite when yimobu told me the big roasted chicken on the table was taken from the chicken coop i could see fromwhere we were sitting . there were many chickens pecking on the groundand i rmbered the chickens . bakbakbakkayyyyyyyyyyyy! CLUCK .
i had a good time scaringthe whole lot . and the ducks were adorable . quack quack and they just waddle away when icome near .
thankgoodness no pigs .
w swine flu , better to stayaway from them . but i saw mountain hogs . OINK


visited this middle school that busan yimo teaches at . i joined this class and they found me so weird and fascinating . they kept looking at me and i was being overly friendly . must give them good impression of the ppl in SG . ha
they had D & T too . i made something and this boy kept helping me . he is very nice . why cant there be more gentleguys like him .






drove back to daejeon . stopped by muju and rested at their country house .
i screamed at the vegetable patch cos i was helping to cut stalks and this big fat ugly toad jumped out atme . i have never been so terrified man .
disgusting creature .

left after a while . read holy blood holy grail on the 4hr drive back .
yimobu got stopped by the cops for driving wthout the seatbelt on .



anw , going to bednow .
meeting my godmum and uncle sies on tues .
talked to mymum anddad today . she says ill beback this sat 9.30pm .
can hardly wait.
am having fun here but it does get lonely at times .

stupid maintainence i couldnt post that the other day.


anw moving on.
the past few days past reallyfast .
i have to type fast so pardonmy errors . cos i have toeat dinner.

anw , i went tothe lang school ytd , the kids have cute names theygave themselves like ben powder , lion , giant , yesmaggot , giant , tiger , tup and etcetc


anw i couldnt sleep last night .
sleptat 1 local time and woke up at 4 local time today . sat there in bed lookingat the clock andwondering what people in sg had been doing.
switched on the tv and watched really disturbing stuff that illnever forget .
there was this german show that was so much like strangers just that it was kids aged around 13-18 terrorising this coupleat their house . the kids managed to kill theguy and they tried to rape the woman and killed her after that . depressing .

theni watched this hkmovie . just to cut a long story short, this monk lived w an old monk and one day he fell in love w thisyoung woman andthey had sex at the mountains ! its so omg i was stunned not cos they were having sex but bcos he isa monk for gods sake!!!!!!OMG how can they produce such unholy stuff. oh andth eldermonk uses a cats tail for caligraphy .
then one day the young monk runs away to be w the girl and the elder monk burns himself up .
i dont knw what is the meaning ofthis man . grunt


theni watched CSI.yay .
and ilearnt theres such thing as childporn .how sick is that.thats worse than normal porn ! blargh
anws ,this 10 year old kidkilled his kid bro who is only 6 by stuffing toy plane parts down his throat . SICK.and he kills the family puppy too .
well turns out he is a sociopath ? or more like phsycopath really .

i love kids but now they seem scary .



anwsafter all that had tea .
andbreakfast too .
no badmntn .


went to town to shop a little .
and then went for a two hr massage .
get this . its like nth ive done bfor .

you have to strip till waist and thenthey massage your back , shoulders ,face ,chest and um yeah your boobs . fine i said itbig deal but wtv .
it wasreally uncomfortableat first .ppl touching your boobs and i kept laughing non stop .so ticklish !!!!!!!!!!!!
and i was really tense . it took me along time to calm myself down .
then after that i didntfeel ticklish anymore .
but massaging ppl's there ? thats really new and umjust weird .


had buffet for dinner today and tried abalone porridge .
not bad at all......



anw i forgot t mention , i know why my face is always red .
its becos the inner layers of my skin have been sunburnt and its really sensitive and also cos i scrub so hard wheni wash , i destroy something i dont know what , in my skin .

jeez . sounds kinda bad .


oh and im coming back on th 27th .
mixed feelings about that .

but i miss alot of things there though .my dog , some special ppl including my family , my bed , mysister !!!! lol i talked t her on the phone the other day . they watched monster vs aliens . ahhbut nvm . think ill miss drag me tohell. thats upsetting but nvm .



ok gotta go now .
driving to busan tmrw . getting back on sun .



BYE ;D

SERENA, RIOTOUS 14 (?) !
8 september 1994
KUKUTRIBIAN;SO JUBILANTE !
BARKING MAD & LOVING IT
HIGHLY DELIRIOUS
MY BLOG,SCHMLOG PLEASE TREAT W RESPECT
CHECK I LOVE COMPANY,SO HANG AROUND LONG
TAG,RANT,SCOLD,SPAM,SPIT,BLOW KISSES,YAK ON MY TAGBOARD
ALL WILL BE APPRECIATED,I'll WANT T HEAR YOUR SAY
ONLY IMPERSONATORS WONT BE TOLERATED
CAN'T STAND SUCH COWARDLY FAKEYPHONIES
I BLAZING LOVE JOHNNYDEPP
music is my muse , my religion

bolditalicsunderlinestrikeout

Cbox & Shoutmix

Designer: KURRENT:)