MAROONED LOVE.

2011-08-10T13:25:00.000-07:00

omg hello old friend.
its the year 2011 already.
youve been stagnant, frozen and completely abandoned,
and i must say forgotten.
hahahaha its been two years since my last post.
so much has happened you have no idea.
when i read my last post and think of how far ive come,
it doesnt amaze me but scares me.
had i known at that time, the very same day that that would be my last post and what was in store for me, i dont know how i wouldve actually dealt with it.
terrifying thought.
and honestly its only here that ive always been able to let go and say whatever i want to say.
i have never been more honest with anyone else.
so dependant i am on you that i talk to you like youre an actual person when i reality
you dont exist and youre just a bunch of codes words and numbers formed but even stl, so important cos these are all my thoughts and memories.
and if thats not precious enough to me, i dont know what else could be.

2009-11-19T10:24:00.000-08:00

JEEZ !

im writing in after not being here for ages!!!!
i feel like a total stranger in my own blog .
how odd .

was actually halfway to signing up for LJ , but i just gave up and came back here cos i
feel (as odd as it may sound) as if im abandoning a friend .
LOL .

i even got a name for my lj . its so random , idk whr it came from .
a lightbulb just went off in my head and POOF , there you have it . haha
well i wont disclose it here first .
when its set up , ill tell ya'll :)

anws , whr do i begin ....
i seem so chirpy and all , but things are actually not going too sweet lately ....
but for the good and nice stuff first :)

i finally met the girls today !!!
joanna , van , xj , qizhi :)
mag doesnt count cos ive been seeing her since mon but i did miss her plenty during the weekends .
anw we watched 2012 :D
well i think sher and van thought it wasnt as hot as haeundae cos haeundae evoked more emotions .
you know , we koreans know our drama pretty good , so we are good at crying scenes and all that garb , and well , good at making ppl cry , even those stone hearted coldfish people .
anws , 2012 had really awesome effects . loved it .
not being a sadist or anything but it was brilliant suff .
good sherlyn behaved herself . no screaming or shrieking , and she didnt even mess up the place while munching away on her gross octopus sushi in the theatre .
*CLAPS* way to go mag :)

qi zhi meh~ed once though and shrieked . haha i think the ppl behind got a fright . haha
and she didnt cry .
she did have the hots for the tibetian monk , temzin , if im not wrong .
well he is kinda cute w the adorable puppy eyes and all , but he's a monk (thou its a movie)
so its kinda wrong to crush on monks no matter how hot they may be and totally unholy so yeah... odd .

on the otherside of me meanwhile ,
sherlyn was busy crushing on the russian pilot , sacsha or sth like that .
well he's hot too but he's blond and i dont really have a thing for blondes so NAH .

me and van were busy looking at the russian fishlips guy that talked w this really long drawl in a voice so LOW that if he were in the room , youd feel tremors as he speaks .

we all separated shortly after and van and i went to carls jr .
talked for so long from 6plus all the way to almost 9 .
we have lots on our minds . truly .
i was happy anw cos i missed her so much last week during my "OPERATION QUARRANTINE HOMIE" proj .

reached home 10plus .
had a splitting headache after leaving th theatre and it hasnt gone away up till now .
my eye keeps jumping too .
either someones missing me so badly or my eyes are just extremely sore and tired .
lol . it jumped for so long , i actually stood in front of the mirror to observe it . cool sick stuff haha .

speaking of sick , this effing unknown person sent a msg to my phone , a no i dont recognise ,
and its a picture of a woman being penetrated .
more like my phone's been penetrated with filthy stuff . i hope my files dont corrupt or something .
who'd send such sicko fatman's porno to me ?!
i have an unknown enemy i think .
well whoever you are , speak up , man ...
crazy ppl out thr .

anws , enough of this gross stuff , had my last papers today in the morning . emaths 2 and bio .
gawd . maths paper 2 was HORRIBLE . i know i cant do maths for nuts but this was bad .
and leng leng the unmerciful .sigh .

the 1st qs nearly made me pull out my hair !
same for sher and bryan and wenting .
i took 3ominsplus t do it dammit .
and plus there was band doing scales and marching , shouting ,
sherlyn giving great big sighs (cos of her breathing prob) and the boy in front of her kept cracking his neck ,
at a rate of 10 every 5 minutes . it drove me nuts ! cos it looked so comical and distracting . i looked down but could still see him out of the corner of my eye .
TERRIBLE !
and ytd i was taking physics , i was trying to contain my laughter becos of that and i was like umqiu-ing and the tr saw and prob thought i found the physics easy but it was NOT !
ms lew rreally wants me to drop . sigh .

bio was easy but i screwed so many qs up .
i cant promote im so sure of it .
im thinking of my sad and unstable future now cos i refuse to retain .
i want to leave amk and i have a shrewd idea as to what i might call as my back up plan
but thats not the thing , i really want to take O's nxt yr dammit . and graduate with 4/2 and with my beautiful awesome friends . omg i love ya'll so much i dont want to leave .

the past one week plus has been total hell for me .
i swear i was so worked up abt this reexam , i never even thought abt all the other stuff thats usually swimming in my mind like
the fact that im fat
about the person i like
abt friends probs
abt my sis getting psle results nxt week .

my phone hasnt had $ in it for one week plus .
i hardly used the comm .
didnt step out of my front door .
and was so tensed up and caught in the full time company of books books and nth but books .
i mean math math and more math oh and physics and blargh ,
that (dont barf)
i didnt bathe for 2 days straight .
walked arnd in the same clothes for 2 days .
eww gross coming to think of it .
and ive been having a rich diet of milo dinos , milocereals , and milopowder .
no kidding , im so sad , i just eat the powder right out of the container .

then ive been scrafing down salami salami , hickory honey baked ham and more salami . ooh and my mum made bacon like 3 days' bfast so yeah . i was a sick unhealthy person loaded on all this rotten processed junkshits .
oh and yes i ate lotsof omelettes . and my omelette consists of 3 eggs for one . and lots of mushroom and cheese . and i could eat 3 omelettes a day .
sick .
and yes my mum bought youtiaos and i just ate 3 of them straight . the long long ones .
yes and when i wasnt drinking milos , it was milk milk milk .
and i finished all my dads ice cream as usual .

i think im gonna get a coronary soon .
i ate so much my back hurt . and i could almost hear my intestines crumple .
thats how bad the stress level got .
i have nvr been under so much pressure before .

so im detoxing for the next few days .
ill never slim down man and look normal if i keep doing this .
this is so upsetting .
ROFL.

anw im outta steam . tired of writing abt all that food again ...
just really hope to meet up with jeng soon . havent talked or seen you for like forever man !
we need to talk . next tues w vanny . (not tt you'll happen to read this) but i really need to catch up on stuff !
oh and nick and ernest too .
hope you guys come back real soon .
we are all missing you here .

okay going now .
ill try to come back and write more .
BYE :D

2009-07-17T06:36:00.001-07:00

back writing in finally after a long time .

on bad terms with dad .
extremely affected by this but wont say much .
he left for korea early this morning . told him to have a safe flight with a very stiff voice .
made me sad to hear how cold and emotionless i sounded .
i never want to hear myself speak like that to him again .

school , i dont remember much .
begged ms tay to let me join netball again .
told her the treatments and doing stretching had eased my back discomfort and pain by quite alot so i am actually feeling way better these days but she said no .

she said theres no point cos ill be in the rec team anw since sec twos and better players will take up all the places for next years zonals but my motive wasnt to even play for school ?
i dont have that kind of ambition anymore .

all i wanted was to get back together w teamaties again cos ive drifted apart from them quite a bit and i miss playing netball i guess ?
and im really getting unfit and FAT , fatter i mean
but she said no .
NO .
honestly , besides the whole " im worried you might injure your back again blargh " that she told me which i know is sincere , i know , WE all know its also cos im not a valuable player so losing me is really no biggie .
i guess im cool with that but just sad i guess .

so now ive been unceromoniously dumped in art club .
i dont know what im supposed to do there .
really i dont know how to explain how i feel about this arrangement .
i never get it easy in life so doesnt really come as a surprise i guess .
ho hum .

i felt really down during maths .
not the first time im gonna say this but it really eats me when i realise how much i cant do when it comes to maths .
eats me
really .
and vannyssa said maybe its time i discovered ace learning so ace learning it is ! tomorrow .
sigh .
feel extremely defeated and worn down today .
inside .

had class drama discussion/rehearsal today during VE & after school .
vanny was having a hard time to get the guys to settle down .
a total feat as they are extremely hyped all the time and well we all know how they are like .

she put me as the grown up belinda and i guess i dont really mind all that much since ill only have 2 scenes . which is pretty cool i guess seeing as how i have lack of confidence in front of large audiences and stage fright and lets face it , im not a good actress . hehe
but ill do my best ,

im just really worried that ernest and jeng will burst out laughing when they talk to each other during the acting .
really worried .
dont screw this one up guys !

rushed to hub for HP & half blood prince after that .
jeng bailed on us but i guess he has his reasons so its not a problem .
just hope things arent going too bad for you , if you get my drift .
benson the rock just wanted to go home as usual .
i mean if i had a house like his , i think ill be like that too .
i really talk alot do i .
depressing .

hub closest timings all sold out .
rushed to jubilee and we managed to get seats .
and we saved 50 cents ;] 5.50 only for our tickets .
at least thats something to smile about cos , people and fans of j.k rowling's harry potter , if youre one of them like i am , ill tell you this .
the movie SUCKED .
PERIOD .

firstly the kissing scene was horrible ,
secondly , they messed up and changed lots of stuff and even added in stuff that never appeared in the text (the book)
thirdly , voldemort is described as tall dark handsome and has dark eyes and hollow cheeks with dark glamour and the tom riddle , esp the scene with slughorn in the memory , he looked nothing like it .
he is the nephew of ralph fiennes who plays lord voldy , but who says he could be the child voldy .
where was the voldy tom riddle they used in chamber of secrets .
BAD , so BAD .

and the fighting scene last part should be more active with aurors and death eaters battling in the school and all that hoopla , but it was all missing .

and the dumbest of all , they hardly talked abt the half blood prince .
and slughorn looks nth like slughorn !
and ginny is supposed to be ravishing and cormac is supposed to be irritating and broad and not attractive but its all opposite .
cormac mclaggen was so hot .

thats not the point really but im just saying its not what i pictured really .
and where is fleur and bill ? they never even appeared .
and who said bellatrix and fenrir would set the burrow on fire .
and lupin and tonks only get together at the end !
geez .
a total bummer and mess .
who was the scriptwriter , i'd like to know .

and i couldnt help but laugh at the solemn part of dumbledore lying motionless after snape cursed the avada kedavra and he fell over the battlements but it was funny cos everyone raised their arms and wands and jon told me earlier that day it was like some ndp parade , that kinda stuff , (ok i know you guys dont get it ) but i pictured jon saying that and i looked at it and i just had to hold back the laughter .

sherlyn and nick thought i was crying cos i was covering my face to stop myself from barking .
lol if you understand .

i think i should have watched haunting in connecticut .
i feel bad for j.k. rowling .

oh yes and where was scrimgeour ? never even made a appearance .

ok maybe i should quit insulting the movie but it was a total disappointment .
the trailer made it look so attractive and dark and nice and all but really its nth like it .
shame .
truly .

mus and nick and shi da went home and sherlyn and i went to hub foodcourt cos i was hungry.
so hungry i swear i could have eaten a cow . i think im pregnant with rocks .
not pebbles ernest , rocks .

she left me halfway cos her dad came .
drank bubbletea today after one and a half month .

miserable bus ride home .

reached home , locked myself in the toilet and sang like a total moose .
terrible .

found my sis .
talked to her .

its friday , and all hell breaks loose .
friday after friday , im losing it .
every friday for as long as i can remember .

i hope things will get better in time .

never thought id say this , but thanks for being there for me giulia .
your sister has a really weak mind and is very unsteady and has serious personal issues .

god , help me .
help me love myself .

god , i really want to know how it feels like to feel their love and concern again .
cos real love and unconditional love are two different things to me .
and if anyone out there tells me that people will only accept me when i accept myself , they are damnright wrong about that .

dont tell me that ever .
i will only find true happiness when i can finally accept myself .
im still waiting for that day .

on monday night , i experienced my mother's love , something i havent felt for a long time .
in an open way .
she stayed up the whole night and watched over me and held me as i slept fitfully waking up every hour cos i was in pain .
on wednesday i felt alive and reborn and my heart felt at peace , like nothing could go wrong
after so long .
i felt happy to go back to school and for the first time i woke up thanking god i was alive .
i felt no pain , no jealousy , no hatred , just felt light , happy and at peace with the world .
at that time , i couldnt figure out why i could feel so good when really life was still as bad and tough .
but now its friday and i know .
cos it was feeling safe in my mother's arms again .
it is a sacred thing to me .
i wish never to lose it completely with my mum and dad cos really im losing it slowly .
i never wanted to tell ppl cos i thought they would look down on me or shun me if they knew abt my twisted relationship with my parents but theres no use hiding .

i forgotten what it feels like to be loved .
i dont love myself .
my parents , love me unconditionally but given a choice ,.... btween giulia and me , i know .
look at our sad situation , i know .
my friends.... i dont want to talk abt it . they care for my well being but they dont know half the truth and couldnt care less anyway , its been proven esp to those most dependant on me .
today was the thousandth time i longed to talk to sarah and titi .
if only god knew what great friends had been taken away from me .
i feel so alone these days .

i miss my mum .
i miss my dad .
i miss sarah .
i miss titi .
i miss myself .
people cant tell , but im really very much alone .

to gtb .
and you , i dont know why you do this to me . and so easily too .
after so long . nothing has changed .
i have long given up but i thought that at least i could forget abt it . but it hangs in there like some stubborn stain .
terrible .

to tmgg.
and i really hope you wont seethis as betrayal should you ever find out .
either way , im grateful that its partially over for now .
i can only wish the very best for you .

2009-06-25T22:50:00.000-07:00

too many things have happened the past few days so ill just talk abt yesterday .

i went hiking with my godparents ! yes i love hiking even though this mountain i did was one of the most difficult ones ive done .
the mountain's called jonggu mountain and well we climbed 3.5km of it and well walking or running on even road seems easy for that distance but climbing up rocks was preety hard . at first there was nice paths to climb on but it got windier , rockier and well you get the picture . it was really a challenge . but the weather was great . some sun , nice breeze , you gotta LOVE the sound of trees and leaves rustling in the breeze and the stream flowing . beautiful .just really angry w myself for frgetting to bring my camera . its in times like these i truly cant forgive myself . pffwt .

but anws . rested every now and then . and i didnt dare rest for long cos i was afraid ill get lazy if i slacken . so mostly i kept going . we finally reached the two pagodas after 3.5km and it was really beautiful . saw a hamster like mouse . omg it was really adorable . and saw a dead snake . disgusting . wildhares too .

and since its my blog and i ramble alot , ill just say the story of the two pagodas .
one was shorter than the other . thats the sister one . and the taller one is the brother one .
well long ago in the goryeo dynasty , there was this monk living all by himself up on this mountain . his mentor had died and he never knew his parents so he lived alone . he took care of the animals , though wild , in the forest . and one day he came across this tiger choking on a bone so he helped the tiger remove the bone .

a few days later ,the tiger returned with a young beautiful girl in a wedding gown (traditional one) fast asleep on its back . the tiger had stoled her on the night of her wedding and decided to give her as a present to the monk to show his gratitude for helping him remove the bone .(seriously it sounds wonky , but thats how the story goes )

anw , this monk was a monk so he couldnt keep the girl as his wife of course , so he decided to return her to her village . but back in the village , she already earned a bad reputation for running off on her wedding night and the girl didntwant to marry the man anw cos it was an arranged marriage and she didnt love him anw . so the monk took care of her and loved her like a sister . the girl fell inlove with the monk , but the monk knew better cos he had already promised to dedicate himself to his god of course , so he told her he will only love her as a sister . (which i must say isimpressive cos how do you actually control your feelings for someone ?) but at least he is nth like the monk i mentioned in my earlierposts . so when this monk and his sister died , they built 2 pagodas and buried them here .

i still find the tiger part hard to believe buth well .
they had stone turtles there too and i sat on one cos it is said to bring good luck if you sit on one but i dont knw really . and i made a small pagoda too andmade a wish .
hopefully it comes true . cos its important .

then we started our descent .
if climbing up was tough , going down is really tricky . my air force nikes , the ones that are dying with the soles torn and holes in the heels , well i wore them and becos there is hardly any friction left , i almost slipped once or twice . and almost sprained my ankle but alls fine .
just that i threw my shoes at the end of the day cos really it was time forhimto go .
gosh i do feel sad . i wore him for 4 years .

anw , i didnt have to worry cos my godparents bought me new pair of shoes . they are really awesome in my opinion but its just too pink . but i love it in any case . and giulia if youre reading this , these pair of addidas are off limits . so you can see but no touch ;D

anws , said goodbyes to god ma and godpa and hopefully i will meet them soon somewhere else .

reached home at 6 and went out for buffet at thisplace called sea & farm and well there is seafood . i ate octopus by accident and i ran to the toilet , to hurl of course . its like chewing rubbery tire . o m g ,how can ppl eat this kinda stuff ?

anw ate alot of course cos yimobu kept saying , im paying 30 bucks for each person , you better eat lot or ill be disappoointed . so i ate a hell lot .
jeez . always eating under pressure .

and yimobu said i was fat and from the way he said it , he hates fat girls . he is so mean to jaimee too just bcos she is nt exactly petite . koreans care way too much abt the outlook and thats very bad . i felt like telling him , he is the one stuffing me with food and he says im so ugly cos im fat . but that didnt affect me at all i dont knw why . and he says the next time i come back to korea , i better be slim . oh well whatever . ill make sure i have the last say . hmph ;D sg boys can be mean but im grateful i dont live in korea .

just walking on the streets and watching tv , i can tell that korean women only think that sharp pointy noses , big eyes and long legs are very nice . of course its all very nice , but they all look the same . its boring . and fake . most koreans do plastic surgery thats why ! even yimobu was the one who asked jaimee to go for surgery to make her double eyelid just cos she was born with single eyelids like most koreans . korea is too vain

that felt good saying all that .
went kbox after that and sang like crazy . jaimee and annie went nuts anw . haha
itried digging up a few english songs and i guess i did enjoy myself ;D

watched sex and the city when got home . then went to sleep .
going out at abt 6 later for bbq pork again . (save me ) and shopping stuff for friends .
ytd i went to the mart and wiped out their whole stock of grape bubblegum but i think its still not enough for everyone back in sg .
so buying more and more today .

cant wait for transformers when i get back .
i know its gonna be sick ! ;D

i dont think im actually prepared for school .

2009-06-22T01:05:00.000-07:00

yello ;D

bored to high heaven today . didnt manage to get a good night's sleep cos it was really fitful , with people walking in and out of it , sometimes talking to me but no voice comes out . it felt so real , evrything that happened that i was so relieved when i woke up that it was just a dream .

anws , didnt follow jaimee to the lang school today . i opted to stay home and welluse the comp and do maths . yeah you read it right . do maths . the worse thing isthat yi mo said she would bring a tutor home later to help me with my work . i dont like the idea at all but she kept insisting so fine . sigh i know she is trying to help . but im not in the mood to meet new people . let alone ask them for help in maths and blargh . i want some alone time today to read my holy blood holy grail i am struggling to read cos of the vocab in it . its a terrible and beautiful book .
mhmm .

anws i spend the day exchanging e mails with giulia cos sherlyn and nicholas havent replied my facebook msgs . darn it guys , pls reply me as asap . ill be happy toget mails from peeps in sg . you can talk to me abt anything . even if its about telling me what you ate for breakfast .

anw i was telling my sis this , that if theres one thing i can actually gain from being away from my life and my home in sg , though its only fr 2 weeks , its finally truly learning to cherish and treasure everything you have at home . it is in common logic that we all know that , but you will only truly understand and know what it feels like when you are far from home family and friends .and as much as i may hate home my family and friends at times , (at times , ok) i have finally understood what it means by there is no place like home cos no matter how nice the place imstaying at now is , or no matter how hospitable my hosts are , and nomatter how good and comfortable they make me feel , it isnt the right place to be and not where i can truly feel at home . yeah thats what i learned . and i also learned , as cliched as it sounds , to not takethings for granted too

cos really , i never ever imagined the day would come when i miss home and everything back there and find myself wishing that ill do anything just to see people's faces , hear their voice and laughter , my dog yapping at my ankles , my sister screaming at me and my mum's nagging . it just isnt complete without all that .

i even miss people (you should knw who you are ) who go on and on and on abt stuff . their incessant ramblings , you know , abt nonsensical stuff . ill give anything to hear that , to have that phonecall again when we talked so much abt you know what . i miss my dog truckloads ! all those times i neglected him and didnt bring him for walks on a regular basis . i wish i could do that now ! i really want to hughim . and get this , i wish i was in my room studying .
and i miss a thousand more things . wont elaborate .
the only thing i dont miss yet is the weather and sarah and farah .heehee

and of course i miss my parents .
ive never wanted to see mymum even more .
i really really miss my mum and my dad and sis too.
ah giulia ! wish i couldsee you . and i used to wish that mama and papa could pack you off to some boarding school .

and the yimobu here is not father material at all .
he is wild , outgoing and reckless . and i like that cos i enjoy being in adventurous ppl's company and i find them interesting but he smokes heavily , drinks very often and gets drunk , is flirtatious with his friends wives when his own wife is there and drives at up to 200km/hr on the highway . i love fast rides ,but not on the highway . grunt
it makes me want to go back to my dad .
he is a much more fun in a dadish way .

oh well .

i miss everything

im counting down the days .
p.s. maggot i read the book on abortion on my flight from SG to korea .
it was sad but i didnt cry . only had wet eyes when i saw the x ray pictures of the baby . cos it looked so sad that she didnt have a skull and how could anyone kill something so small and helpless ??

i was thinking do my friends that say they miss me only want me back cos i try my best to help them and are more less always there for them or do they really miss my prescence ? sometimes i feel that they take me for granted . qz agrees and i wonder if im just thinking too much or being too selfish .

2009-06-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

its 2 am in the morning .
got back from busan at around 8 and ate little for dinner .
hardly had appetite for anything .
food doesnt seem to please me these days .
blargh .

anws , this morning we went for a hike up this mountain .
i forgot its name . but i love hiking so i enjoyed myself .
weather was great so i hardly perspired .
saw mountain goats and i was thinking there would be mountain tigers too so i was really worried and kept my eyes peeled and ha , armed myselfwith a long stick .
when i told jaimee that iwas keeping a lookout for tigers , she laughed at me making me feel like an idiot . shesaid there were no tigers cos there was civilisation there . ho hum .

the only danger that i came across while hiking was bumping the front of my forehead on this low cave ceiling . imagine the amount of braincells that i killed and im not that bright already.
HEEHAW.

went to eat at this farm fr lunch .
no appetite when yimobu told me the big roasted chicken on the table was taken from the chicken coop i could see fromwhere we were sitting . there were many chickens pecking on the groundand i rmbered the chickens . bakbakbakkayyyyyyyyyyyy! CLUCK .
i had a good time scaringthe whole lot . and the ducks were adorable . quack quack and they just waddle away when icome near .
thankgoodness no pigs .
w swine flu , better to stayaway from them . but i saw mountain hogs . OINK

visited this middle school that busan yimo teaches at . i joined this class and they found me so weird and fascinating . they kept looking at me and i was being overly friendly . must give them good impression of the ppl in SG . ha
they had D & T too . i made something and this boy kept helping me . he is very nice . why cant there be more gentleguys like him .

drove back to daejeon . stopped by muju and rested at their country house .
i screamed at the vegetable patch cos i was helping to cut stalks and this big fat ugly toad jumped out atme . i have never been so terrified man .
disgusting creature .

left after a while . read holy blood holy grail on the 4hr drive back .
yimobu got stopped by the cops for driving wthout the seatbelt on .

anw , going to bednow .
meeting my godmum and uncle sies on tues .
talked to mymum anddad today . she says ill beback this sat 9.30pm .
can hardly wait.
am having fun here but it does get lonely at times .

2009-06-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

stupid maintainence i couldnt post that the other day.

anw moving on.
the past few days past reallyfast .
i have to type fast so pardonmy errors . cos i have toeat dinner.

anw , i went tothe lang school ytd , the kids have cute names theygave themselves like ben powder , lion , giant , yesmaggot , giant , tiger , tup and etcetc

anw i couldnt sleep last night .
sleptat 1 local time and woke up at 4 local time today . sat there in bed lookingat the clock andwondering what people in sg had been doing.
switched on the tv and watched really disturbing stuff that illnever forget .
there was this german show that was so much like strangers just that it was kids aged around 13-18 terrorising this coupleat their house . the kids managed to kill theguy and they tried to rape the woman and killed her after that . depressing .

theni watched this hkmovie . just to cut a long story short, this monk lived w an old monk and one day he fell in love w thisyoung woman andthey had sex at the mountains ! its so omg i was stunned not cos they were having sex but bcos he isa monk for gods sake!!!!!!OMG how can they produce such unholy stuff. oh andth eldermonk uses a cats tail for caligraphy .
then one day the young monk runs away to be w the girl and the elder monk burns himself up .
i dont knw what is the meaning ofthis man . grunt

theni watched CSI.yay .
and ilearnt theres such thing as childporn .how sick is that.thats worse than normal porn ! blargh
anws ,this 10 year old kidkilled his kid bro who is only 6 by stuffing toy plane parts down his throat . SICK.and he kills the family puppy too .
well turns out he is a sociopath ? or more like phsycopath really .

i love kids but now they seem scary .

anwsafter all that had tea .
andbreakfast too .
no badmntn .

went to town to shop a little .
and then went for a two hr massage .
get this . its like nth ive done bfor .

you have to strip till waist and thenthey massage your back , shoulders ,face ,chest and um yeah your boobs . fine i said itbig deal but wtv .
it wasreally uncomfortableat first .ppl touching your boobs and i kept laughing non stop .so ticklish !!!!!!!!!!!!
and i was really tense . it took me along time to calm myself down .
then after that i didntfeel ticklish anymore .
but massaging ppl's there ? thats really new and umjust weird .

had buffet for dinner today and tried abalone porridge .
not bad at all......

anw i forgot t mention , i know why my face is always red .
its becos the inner layers of my skin have been sunburnt and its really sensitive and also cos i scrub so hard wheni wash , i destroy something i dont know what , in my skin .

jeez . sounds kinda bad .

oh and im coming back on th 27th .
mixed feelings about that .

but i miss alot of things there though .my dog , some special ppl including my family , my bed , mysister !!!! lol i talked t her on the phone the other day . they watched monster vs aliens . ahhbut nvm . think ill miss drag me tohell. thats upsetting but nvm .

ok gotta go now .
driving to busan tmrw . getting back on sun .

BYE ;D

2009-06-14T21:46:00.000-07:00

hello !

i dont have much time but ill write as much as possible .

just to say whats been going on the past 2 weeks of june hols ,

we had the bbq at my house and celebrated maggots sims birthday . details at her blog . oh and i contributed my curly mass of confusion to the class painting which despite looking like a nursery wall , its extremely adorable and bright and lively and well maybe gay (which is HAPPY ! ) but i love it .

smple dimple and sweet schweet .

anw , gonna spend 10 days in daejon ,korea which is 3 hours from seoul, my mums hometown .
reached there on saturday .

the weather is awesome with a capital A .

its around 15 degrees and you can feel the sun's warmth too so its great .

for me at least .

but somehow my skin is not adjusting too well here . maybe its also cos of all the spicy food im eating .

they are feeding me lots ! they adore me . ok please dont vomit but they really pamper me which makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes and its been two days only . but other than that its great . they are really nice ;D

there's jaimee who's 17 and annie who's 19 . they both speak really good english with slang .

what does that make me ? haha

and the mum , i call her yi-mo , which is aunt in korean , she is really nice too .
and yi-mobu , the uncle , who is obsessed w chinese and talks to me in chinese .

there's a grandpa and grandma too whom i hardly get to see .

i first arrived at incheon airport at 5 in the morning local time .

the flight was ok , no turbulence , great . touchdown smooth . the man sitting beside me on the plane slept mostly which meant i had to endure the snoring . couldnt sleep . uncomfortable but i did get to watch sunrise . it was beautiful .

oh and sunrise is around 4 in the morning here . ha

time difference with sg is 1 hr . sg is one hr behind only so i dont have problems adjusting to my sleep modes . not that i actually slept much during the nights in sg anws . *laughs*

anw i had problems finding my luggage . crap and i took a damn long time to find the belt . my sister's god ma and god pa came to fetch me .
i still remember them clearly .
but their sons are in aust and NZ now so i couldnt see them .
they said i grew fatter . oh well , no escaping from the truth , i am BIG now .
went to their house to sleep for 3 hours and was wondering what everyone in sg were doing . called my mum , and she said my sis cried . mhm i guess i miss her too .
tried sending some msgs to friends but all barred . system in korea and jap is different i learned so i guess i cant make calls . sad but nvm .
went out for lunch with an old childhood friend after that . her name's so-sin . i forgot all about her but yi-mo says i used to play with her when i stayed in korea for 3 months when i was 6 .

took a train at around 4 , local time . it was a 3 hour journey . i was supposed to stop at busan and stay at another yi-mo's house for a day if i was tired but i decided to go all the way to daejon .
the train ride was ok but i was extremely tired . i dont know why i just sat on the plane , sat on the train but doing that can really drain all your energy away .

reached daejon around 8 ish local time .
jaimee and the other yi-mo , her mum , picked me and we went to an eating house to eat bbq pork and i met yimo-bu there and some of their family friends .

we slept late that night .
rented two movies and watched until it was around 3 in the morning .
slept like a baby this time .

sunday ,
we had breakfast .
we eat rice for breakfast here . oh i am so gonna grow fat .
anw , had tea after that , must always have tea , they explained .
to cleanse your system . mhmm
buckwheat , barley blargh .
then yimo-bu said it was a daily ritual to play badminton in the woods .

so we went to the woods where there are pine trees and you can see magpies , and we played badminton and had a picnic and some other friends and cousins came along . made new friends and what a relief , they more or less could speak english .

we stayed thr from 11 till 3 plus and reached home at 4 .

washed up and went out shopping where yi-mo tried to buy stuff for me and i kept declining . you have to show your manners and be polite you know .
but in the end you just bashfully accept and ok she will buy it for you .
she's really nice .
went for dinner at a family friend's house .
ate a lot . jesus , at this rate im gonna blow up real bad .
even playing badminton daily wont help .
went home at around 11 .
slept immediately .
dreamt about sherlyn , nicholas , qi zhi , ernest and joanna that night .

told ya i was missing you guys , so much until my mind cant rest and you guys haunt me in my dreams !

woke up at 10 today . going out at about 3 and wont be back until 7 ish cos jaimee teaches english at a language school . so im gonna go there and maybe help her out ? we are teaching primary school kids btw . i love working with kids but i think its gonna be difficult too .
jaimee says i gotta be prepared .
and joanna , she is crazy over bigbang and boys over flowers too .
transformers is out early here , dont know if she will bring me to watch it but ill watch it again with you guys even if i watch it here .

i just hope drag me to hell isnt gone by the time im back .

P.S. they eat a lot of octopus here maggot and joanna . i'd bring back some if i could . but you know ill never do such a thing . its so damn gross ! all squiggly and squirming .

last but not least , i just remembered , all the best bryan , ernest , nick & jeng for WKW . break a leg ! ;D

2009-06-01T05:37:00.001-07:00

okay just to say whats been going on lately .

basically i had coffee with the principal . lol
and over coffee he told my parents and me that i had to study 9hrs a day .
sweet jesus .
and he talked a hell lot about my future and kept demanding to know what i wanted to be and i refused to tell him cos well i dont want people to know . and that got me mad went he kept pressing me for it .
he talked about time sucking vampires too which in my opinion is really what the bleh and makes no sense and even my dad wasnt amused .
oh yeah , he talked real slow and loud to my parents , he thought they couldnt understand english .
shame .
and then he tells me flat laselle is not good and that i should opt for temasek poly instead if i cant make it to JC and etc etc ,
and the rest of the meeting was just sending me on a guilt trip .
he was worse to sherlyn anw . sigh

ms tay and mrs veda were alright .
my dad said mrs veda is a nice teacher . and yeah well i agree but cant make it for her first bio lesson tmrw cos ive got doc apptment .
and ms tay was nice enough to tell my parents i dont sleep in class . mhmm

mhmm what else .
oh and after all that sherlyn nick and me went talked for a while
or it was more like me saying yeah , mhmm , right , totally . ya to everything sherlyn was complaining about mr tan . well i wont mention what she called him in case the wrong people read this . haha
and nick just sat there looking amused ? haha we are complain queens .
and yes i totally agree w you maggot , its unfair . heard that nicholas . its unfair .

anw , nick went home and sherlyn and me went to drive thru and ate ice creams and she stabbed at her fries and complained about the man behind me saying that she wasnt happy cos he put pepper on his fries . haha , we were in weird moods .

went to hub to buy stuff for sher's mum and on the way we made a fool of ourselves and dearest sherlyn drew maps /. oh well .

went home after that and i slept from 4 to 8 straight .
dreaming about orange cotton bears . according to my sis .
skipped art again . man , idk what to do about that . its getting bad .

mum brought us out to parkview tower or something like that . dont rmb well and we had drinks and there was this really tall huge sort of wine cellar room in the middle of the hall which is beautiful and this woman dressed as an angel went up on this pulley to collect wine each time .
interesting stuff just that my sis kept saying out loud that her undies could be seen .
jeez . i think the bunch of uncles sitting at the bar below were taking advantage .

anw , it was a nice place .

went to newton circus next for late night supper .
didnt eat much .
seafood's not my thing . hee . but my mum did eat alot .
how can she be in a good mood afetr seeing my trashy results . i wonder MAN

talked to sher went got home .
mum intercepted call said it was ridiculous we were talking so late and so we hung up . LOL
yeah it was 1 am .

next day , lazed about , went out to meet ernest and nicholas at thomson plaza and we talked for a while . i was bored and felt extremely quarratined at home anw .
ernest ate at subway and then we hurried home cos i had to go out w dad and sis to meet my mum . movie timing was at 7.3o at lido but we changed it to 9.20 .
had dinner . our dad let us eat tons of ice cream since my mum hadnt come yet and then we watched the young victoria with her .
reached home at 12 plus .
conferenced with sherlyn and nick while being holed up in the washing area of the back yard .
SWEET .

and as for today ,
woke up at 6 and went to run at yck stadium with ernest poppy hen haha .
ran for 30 mins i think and then thanks to me we had to stop cos of my heart .
did i mention i am obese now ? yes , horrifying .
im classified as obese in my report book .
and people who run and have sharp pains in their heart is either due to a hole in the heart or they are obese and unfit .
i havent been training for 3 months plus and i am getting fatter by the day , so yes my guess is that my heart hurts cos im freaking fatty obeeseeeeee ! ROARSSSSS ! RAH
LOL speaking of which my mum and sis call me piglet now and nic called me a puide * puite * or something gross like that which means fatpig . and someone called me ahpui the other day . sigh

i must put an end to this .
no more binge fests . no more giving to temptations (food)
and i must start becoming a health nut !

gonna run almost everyday w ernest . yes i must . lol
thanks dude youre th best .
and because he goes faster than me , he so calls sets a challenge for me to try and catch up with him .

HA . oh and as for 9 hrs a day .
its not working . not working . not working .
i only did like 3 hrs today . of chemistry .
LORDY .

do you know mr tan told me i cant even go ITE with my results .
nevermind , if i cant find a job , ill go apply to be a clown for cirque de soleil .
im sure they will find me suitable .
mhmm yes .
or i can always go begging my sis for money . afterall , did i mention this too , she said i was her bestfriend .
i mean the girl i scream at everyday and fight with .
thats extremely touching and extremely unconvincing at the same time but oh well .
i do tell her stuff i sometimes dont tell others and she does tell me stuff .
my realationship w my sis is a weird thing that i will never understand . so nvm ill leave it that way . lol

really stressed now . people's birthdays coming up and i havent make their cards or bought some of their presents . BLARGH .

okay ive been talking alot .
dont know when ill be back to blog .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BRYAN AND JEREMY WHOSE BIRTHDAYS ARE THIS WEEK .
AND BELATED TO JOANNA AND QI ZHI WHOSE BIRTHDAYS WERE LAST WEEK .
AND OF COURSE YOU MAGGOT WHOSE BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK AND TOO EARLY TO WISH .

ok bye now ;D

2009-05-29T06:13:00.000-07:00

hello to anyone who still reads this piece of living dead blog , lol

i know for a fact maggot does . haha

anw , i just felt like writing something up here suddenly .
ive lost my touch anw . dont know what to say .
i guess ill just write wtv comes to mind .

today was a horribly disgusting day .
i feel like im recovering from a hangover now .
my throat feels all dry and erm thraoty -.-
LOLs.
i wiped out most of the staple foods in my house like th bread , biscuits , ceceal , milk , cheese , chocolates and etc .
i think im really depressed . i know im really depressed .
i woke up at 6 , stared at th blank tv screen . (i'd fallen asleep on th couch last night again )
then i went to my bed and slept like a baby until 2 then felt horrible and went to raid the kitchen . i ate a hell lot . goodness .
kept thinking about th PTC tmrw and th meeting w the principal .
extremely stressed .
i think i actually outdid myself on this eating cum kitchen / fridge / raid cum chocolate syrup guzzling ETC ETC ETC ETC .
i was a total bull on rampage . of a monster really , just eating everything in sight .

and you know whats th worst part , after eating all that junk which is suppose to comfort you , i feel worse and felt like vomitting and in the end i just went to sleep , locking my room door and shutting the curtains and windows and slept until 5 when sherlyn woke me with a call .
ive got pig blood in me . i am willing to believe that . OINK . haha

talked to her for a while and then got all bored and told her i wanna sleep somemore which is a very wrong move and then the next thing i knew , it was 7 in the evening .
dragged my overworked stomach and fat self to the kitchen and , yeah you guessed it , ate some more and more and more and more .

and got all angry cos there was no ice cream .
i disgust myself .

wanted to go down to book th bbq pits for next week but couldnt bring myself to go down for fear of people looking at me and seeing how fat id become.

i swear i didnt even look at th mirror th whole day . id look into th basin everytime i washed my hands or face .

and now im really pisseedthat i put on all this extra weight cos i really ate ALOT .
but i dont even dare to go to the gym .

im screwed .
i dont want to hear what mr tan has to say about my revolting grades .
i dont need to go to the PTC to see ms tay and her face with that little scowl and sometimes a small amused smile and her going ," so you tell us how you want to go on like this ?" and my mum's very black face and my dad's expressionless one and just calmly going ok at everything when i know inside he might be burning w shame that people should know he has such a daughter like me . HO HUM .

and maggot ever told me mr tan could get into a towering rage and fling your report book at you .
if he does that to me ?
and im sure he will bring up th fact that i appealed into this school,
and say loads of stuff and send me on a guilt trip .
i know ill just try to stop the tears from coming like maggot said . ill just fumble with my fat fingers and try to think of that EEEEE ORRRRRR woman at ntuc that day .
thats a happy thought .
she should be funny enough to cheer me up .
and he'll probably tell th tale of the sandcastle/ castle and how i should aspire to be like a castle . moving dreams riding waves or sailing seas or whatever it was really .
goodness .
i hope he doesnt give me any of that .

anw whatever comes tmrw , maggot and i have decided to try and meet up after that to talk about wtv went on and to eat ice cream to our sad souls' content .

P.S. whoever you may be , tagging on my blog at that time telling me on my tagboard im a failure cos ive failed almost everything in my life . well i am pissed at you but i can't help realising how true you are , and thats what eats me . people really can tell huh . i sit and think very hard and cant think of anything that ive really achieved in my life up until now . i am a dreamer , with a drive and ambitious but i have a weak mind , and people put me down so iguess ill go no further everytime i start on something .
but anw , for you , jerk to tell me something so sensitive (cos its true ) in my face like that , makes me think that whoever th hell you may be , you are very insecure so you have to put me down like that to make yourself feel better .
so there .

this is a very ugly and depressing post .
i think im gonna go wash up and talk to sherlyn now .
at least the both of us can try and comfrot each other before our harrowing ordeal tmrw .
lol , ok i may a little overdramatic but i am very worried so yeah .

ok bye bye for now. i will try to blog more often now that its th hols .
try to revive this blog.

2009-03-12T04:57:00.000-07:00

hello just popping in for a while

P.S. i might move soon .

anyways , just got back from th chiropractor , blargh . long name
well finally the qs ive longed for an answer for darn long .
th thing is my spine is bent . th on top partr is bent towards th extreme right pushing my scapula muscles and so called pressing onto them and th nerves thats why my arm is so freaking weak and the muscles tight and very pain , uncomfortable etc etc .
th bottom part of my spine is bent slightly to th left to support my back weight thats why when i lie down at night my kidney areas are freaking achey .

we i admit i was very upset when th doc told me that i cant attend netball for three months minimum . will be out of play for so long .
not that im such a pro player i am so important to th team or what but th challenge league is coming up and i was really looking fowrd to it cos i really really so badly wanted to have a go and try to make my place back in th team .
but now , you could say this vision has been destroyed .
i dont think ill be able to go back to th team ever .
in th first place , my arm power damn suck . its th worst in th team i know , maybe i just dont have th skill or maybe its beacause my right part of th body was weak because of this . \
th worst part is , theres no where to vent th anger , fustration and put th blame on anything .

everyones imperfect but i guess im just extra imperfect .

this spinal problem is kinda common among ppl our age but wont cause discomfort to th extent of having a swollen right scapula and higher raised then th left side . which is th case for me .
my right and left backs are uneven . th right side is swollen . how creepy .

i did laser treatment today for upper and lower back to loosen th nerves and muscles .
lets just say that it felt like i was standing through a hailstone downpour . that how th laser thing felt on my back .
th suction was like someone in soccer boots with th spikes walking on my upper right back .
weird .

i still cant get over what th doc said .
i think i can just give up netball .
i so badly was willing to go back again for trainings , join back th team , no matter how tough and how strenuous it was gonna be or how testing th new coach which i havent met would be . i so badly wanted a chance .
and now , i feel like i just hit th deepest pit of a valley .

i might think of changing to soccer for 3 months cos ill not be using my arm or back .
so it should be fine .
but its not th same .

ok shall stop here dont know when ill be back .

to all th faithful readers , thankyou ;D

2009-02-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

Five o’ clock and a fire escape symphony Spilling out across the road and the square And the sky’s the same as your own, do you think of me? Do the parks and trees and the leaves reach you there? After the rain, in the lonely hours he haunts me....
Calling out, again, and again.... Sophia, Sophia, I’m burning, I’m burning It’s a fire, a fire I cannot put out.

Sophia, Sophia, I’m learning that some things I can’t go without And one of those is him.
And now I walk these streets like a stranger in my home town, Learn the language, form the words when I speak. But he changed me, I’m his ghost since he came around
Now I count the hours, and the days and the weeks.....

In passion and silence, Every word, every line a measure It’s the science of the soul.
And his books, they breathe a reason And now, I want to know.....
Sophia, Sophia, I’m burning, I’m burning It’s a fire, a fire I cannot put out. Sophia, Sophia, I’m learning that some things I can’t go without And one of those is him.

And you, with your new born eyes, Have you ever loved a man like I love him? Do you hurt, but still feel alive Like never before? Oh Sophia! Sophia! Sophia, Sophia, I’m burning, I’m burning It’s a fire, a fire I cannot put out. Sophia, Sophia, I’m learning that some things I can’t go without I can’t go without him.

sophia : nerina pallot .

2009-02-27T05:07:00.000-08:00

love this cos for once i didnt have to use food to bribe my dog to look at
the cam .

saw this at NAFA last sat in th lift . lol

for once , my sis looks more like a hob then me .

rancid rat hairs !

i know . like for th love of god right . she was doing that in public

at mac drive thru . was studying for phy and bio last sun

my teacher's hair is even more butchered than mine . lol

i was standing on my tippy toes .cos they are both towering over me

candid and spastic too . lol JADE AND PIYO . PY ;D

psst . sorry jade for uploading pics so late . couldnt upload some for some reasons *AHEM*

heyho !

im back . and hopefully not for th last time in what might . (MIGHT ) be 2 weeks . lol

i seriously dont know when ill use th comm again .

ok moving on .

just to back track to yesterday .

was a bad day for sherlyn . there . thats all im saying .

we skipped maths consult cos we were both feeling like muck so we wanted to go home to sleep (sleep in rainy weather seemed to be on everyone's mind . van too )and i was planning t wake up and study chem after that . i got shitballs marks for th first one .

hurmph.

anw i slept like a baby all th way from 4 to 7 . and woke up thinking it was th next day . lol

and , i did study only i revised physics not chem .

dont ask me . just didnt feel like it .

studying chem i mean

i went to sleep at 3.30 in th morning . wrote letters to pass th time . to random people in our class

of which bozo da was one of them and crushed and threw th letter in my face .

typical of that tart . mhmph .

i made a mental note to spam his mailbox next week should i happen to be free or bored .

you wait . haha

finished reading th mediator book .

and gave up reading inheritance of loss and went to sleep . on th couch .

with my dog .

and i had weird dreams as usual .

about things that trouble me .

gawd , me and my tortured soul . lol HAHA

surprisngly , didnt feel all that sleepy in school today , i slept abit during eng only .

who wouldnt , staring at th same picture of some girl with her mouth gaping . and yeah wtv . im just bummed out looking at th same things over and over .

ms tay made me start on this monitoring scheme for what i do at home . *grunt*

and i had to write everything down .

i like ms T , but i just cant help being annoyed that she keeps saying i make excuses .

like i wont elaborate much here , but is having back problems excuses ?

i havent been to a darn doctor and thats not my fault . my parents are busy and i did go to see th physio . and yada yada .

but th problem is still there and now she's thinking im using it as some sympathy excuse .

give me a break .

grunt .

moving on ,

had training today , more productive than usual ,

i realised though not for th first time , arm power is totalllllly suckerriffic .

nth to do out of play or what , my right scapula is screwed so i guess my throwing arm is being constricted , (if thats th word, idk ) i cant through properly sometimes .

say its excuses , but i know my own pain . lol

i naturally , have ( i know this ) one of th weakest arms in th team .

if i talk about th b division too ,

even jackie smaller than me so power .

and now im even weaker cos of this .

maybe i should quit netball . ive thought of it . but i dont want to lose my cca points and i guess i wont wanna leave my teamaties . lol

i never have an easy way out of anything .

go figure .

training ends so early like 5.30 ,

so i stayed back playing vb and shooting for fun , then i went to visit 2/1 .

ok i know its sounds stupide but you dont know what that dingy little classroom did to me the moment i stepped in and walked about .

i cant say , i dont know but just some of these memories are still so vivid , and fresh

it comes washing over you like a tidal wave , i just remember it all so well .

well , almost .

th good and bad . and awesome and uglae .

i sat down at an old seat and just replayed , ( my imagination rocks your socks mind you ) well i replayed in my minds eye or whatever , th usual class scene just unfolds in front of you though really its quiet and theres nothing .

its quite sad really remembering some things and really some i wish to forget but cant bear to .

what a mental nutcase some of you all think i must be .

i heard th aunty with th long mane of swishy hait coming so i get out there fast and well i walk off /.

sigh .

i love my new class truly but something about th old just brings back all these , idk how to put it in words . just , if you know what im trying to get at , youll get it .

on my way back , saw mr siva in 1/5 so i popped in and talked to him for a while and arranged my detention .

which is alright cos i just have to sit for 2ohrs , (divided of course ) in th library , doing my work .

i picked th march hols . i would come in th mornings to study then leave around noon to go wild . lol .

he's an awesome teacher ,

one of my favourite teachers .

he told me many important things that made me realise some stuff .

not th usual cliched stuff .

i know itll be hard , tough , and ugly , watching my ownself try to get my life back to pieces again but ill do whatever it takes .

i am not gonna see myself waste away and grow up wishing i could turn back time .

time waits for no man . so true . though cliched .

my life had past very fast . i desperately trying to salvage what i have left of my childhood i guess . cos in less than 8 years time , i guess ill be what we'd all say . grown up ? lol

we grow up so fast without even noticing . its scary when you come to think of it .

moving on ,

went home and well checked out th price of i touch .

want to buy it . since th price has dropped . something to replace my zen .

im thinking of getting th 16 gb one .

i phone is so user unfriendly ( LOL ) and well just not for me . im still gonna take th i touch over th i phone although i do need a new phone cos mine's like dead , possesed and i dont know so full of madness and controlled by unseen forces , i might put it in th loony bin any day .

goodness . maybe ill switch to sony eric . their sound system rules .

ok enough said .

oh i got sunburnt . again .

P.S> i think our class guys flying paper aeroplanes is irritating but funny .

i took jeremy's one home cos it flies quite well .

i told poppyhen to build a submarine .

only that would end up looking so weird .

2009-02-24T05:18:00.000-08:00

hello ;D

its been a long time .
HAHA . naturally .
many stuff to have blogged about lately but i was just too lazy .
been keeping a personal diary instead .
its sort of better that way .
but yeah im here to save this thing . yet again .

HO HUM .
im getting used to my hair now .
though i cant stop being peeved about how i look .
like a mad hatter half th time .
now im almost scared of myself . ill never know what im gonna do next .
mhmm . haha

that sure sounds creepy .
lol ill never go to th extreme so i think its still fine . lol
and what a total understatement .
HEEHAW .

ive lost my touch cant you tell .
i hardly know what to write .
i dont open up that much these days .
i think i must start my natural rambling again .
HAHA anw ill try to blog more often . TRY

i feel my vision burn ,
i feel my memory fade with time .
but im just too worried these streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past .

2009-02-12T05:35:00.000-08:00

yoho yoho a pirates life for me .

hello to all thoses faithful readers who still visit this blog .

im here to save this thing before it rots into oblivion .

THANKYOU . now it wouldnt hurt to leave a tag .

right .

OKAY now .. moving on . *GRUNT*

um all th darn pics i took darn long to upload all these .

just double click to enlarge then save if you wanna grab .

sorry for taking DARNISH LONGISH EESSH to upload .

i wont be posting anything now . i know i havent updated ,

but ive got things to do .
so yeah .

and oh , th big Q , why i cut my hair .

(and no im not going experimental ) or maybe ill try gouging my eyeballs next. pffwrt.

HO HUM .

seriously i dont know what possesed me to do it .

_________ . some of you guys know . so just hush up and keep it your goodselves .

all you people should know was tt i was not in a right state of mind .

please do not call me th second coming of britney .

dammit , its gonna take me freaking long to grow back at least shoulder length . like 6 mths .

goodness .

MURDER ME .

and so ive been told by lots that i look aunty , fat version of princess diana , cabbage head , heart shape head , mumsy-ish , fresh , nice (mr ong -.-) , some ,

cant express their opinions about my cut in words ,

they just ,

laugh .

SIGH .

p.s. if i were a cabbage put on sale in th market , it will ruin th business . i dont think my hair even qualifies t be called cabbage .

thats like insulting cabbages .

JEEZ . what am i rambling about .

sometimes i swear i dont know who i am .

ok i shall stop here for today .

dont know when ill be back .

LIKETHOSEDAMNEDBANANAS! . BAHA . BAH .

p.s OH NO . my mum just called in to say her cousin arrived in SG .

2009-01-25T18:20:00.000-08:00

firstly guys , HAPPY NEW YEAR/HAPPY CNY . either way , whichever you prefer . lol

p.s. i love this picture and it sorts of matches th occasion . hopefully sg will allow th use of fire crackers some day ;D

HAHA .

what ive been doing th past two days ,

SAT :

watched inkheart ( sucked ) do not watch it , or i promise you will freaking regret . it was my sister's choice anw . i was asking for th curious case of benjamin button . my parents gave in to her . (as usual ) and after th movie i was all , '' dont say i didnt warn you ''. sigh . when will they learn to trust my good senses .

there was no art so we went to th bird park (BIRDS-.-) lol . th zoo is more entertaining . catched all th bird shows . and my cousin didnt like th bird shrieking cos he erm hates noise . lol . he's th quiet silent type . i cant belive the same blood flows through my veins too . seeing as how barbaric i can be . go figure .

oh yah and my mother was so fascinated by this big fat bottle tree near th african waterfall aviary . she kept trying to wrap her arms around it and kept repeating how cute it was . goodness . imagine a middle aged lady doing that . you get th picture . doesnt look too pretty right . lol

near th souvenirs shop , thr was this booth where this african guy was wearing tribal clothes and selling those african jewellery and handicraft and you know my mad fixation about tribal stuff , (im a kukutribian afterall ) well i wanted t buy a tall wooden giraffe and th guy let me try all th necklaces but in th end we were runnning late for a bird show , so i didnt get anything . sad .

my mum said i could find nicer ones outside . she better be telling th truth or ill be really mad and eat all her chocolates her clients gave . she should know by now what im capable of .

BAHA . heh .

and that was basically my whole saturday .

other than that , i should make it known that im treating my cuz better . i still find him irritating in an indescribable way , but he actually almost cried so i felt very bad . (pls do not say my heart melted , cos only my dog can do that ) i guess he felt alone and sad cos my sis and i were ignoring him this whole time and treated him like a small kid ( not tht he isnt )

so i guess you could say i became nicer ? at least right then i started making th effort to make SIMPLE DIMPLE conversations w him . and i stopped TSKing everytime he looked at me sending msgs .

SIGH . i guess he is my cousin afterall . TH POOR LAMB . (looks like one too )

P.s. made it clear to maggot that some areshole was a damned subject and not to be talked about ever.

.....

SUN :

spent th day rotting at home in puddles of misery . for th love of miserables . *SNIFFLES* lol

tried in vain to read childrens books aloud to my dear cousin only i think he thought i was speaking gibberish cos i dragged th words loud and real slow ....

and my insane mother went to buy a pile of korean childrens fairytale stories for me and my sis . each book for 3 bucks . and now th studio is full of them . goodness . and i could have used all that $ to buy my lunar trainers ( my asics are tearing to bits ) .

talk about economic slowdown and recession and blah and my mum buys uneccasary stuff like that . i mean yeah she wants me to read them but th Q is , will i even bother .

FAT HOPE , muther .

she said in th meantime , kang hoon can read out real loud and slow to me and giulia in korean .

SWEET . how thrilling . i can barely wait , i think im gonna pee in my pants from excessive amounts of excitement .

anw , to cut a long story short and stop the crapsy crapping ....

i only listened t him read one sentence from this book about mermaids and i told everyone have a good day and went to sleep .

probably because of th terribly eccesive binging i did in the morning . dont even ask , you wont want to hear . i think i outdid myself for th first time in 2 months . i went berserk if you must know . felt sick to th pits after that . but its not called comfort eating for nth . hoboham says its sweet stuff to heal my bitter heart . lol

anw , if you must know , my mother almost fainted when she saw half of th chocolates gone , th cny goodies gone ( and cny hasnt even really started ), half th bread gone (i had also binged on PB , kaya , strawberry , nutella , blackcurrant jam and my dad looked at me in disgust when he found th ice cream tub empty . i had eaten 1/4 of it . and pistacchio is not even my fav .

just to sum it up for you , i had eaten enough to last me for a week .

so i think ill be eating carrots and celery for th rest of this week . but i dont even think tts possible .

goodness , i AM a monster .

and its all your fault you evil TART . you are no different than th devil . you must be his spawn .

shame on you .

there now im done ranting on unhappy isuues . so lets move on ...

we wanted t go snow city in th afternoon but i was so moppy tt my parents decided t leave me at home in case i ruined evrybody's mood . lol .

so i pretty much spent my afternoon sleeping , eating , and talking t hoboham .

P.S i think i made arthur really mad cos he was depending on me t get discount for guitar lessons , and after waiting for bleddy long for a straight ans ( he claims tt half th time girls dont give straight ans ) anw , as i was saying , i took darn long to give him an answer as to whether i could get guitar l;essons from some guy on mocca and i said no ytd to him cos my mum said she didnt have enough FAITH that i would quit halfway or i might neglect my work ( not that im even taking full responsibility for my work now ) SIGH . but you get th picture . dammit /.i feel so bad .

well arthur , if you see this , sorry . i am so not worthy of your patience . uh-uh .

my bad .

like i said , if you want to draw a picture of my mum and throw tomatoes and 9 week old onions and melted beetroots on her face sometime , just say th word . ( ok i was kidding ) , guys as you know , thats no way to treat your mommmasita , even if she HAS been sucha tart . but still.... ROARS . pffwt.

apologies said and hopefully accepted , we move on .....

went to this seafood restaurant at east coast called long beach . i think (?)

and well youd be thinking what th heck am i doing thr , cos seafood is so not my thing .

but my mum has been craving for crab for very long , and even if she has been such a tart to not let me learn guitar now , i still tagged along . my dad and i were turned off by th sight of all th seafood . a chip off th old block i am , i would say cos my dad and i share th same burning HATRRRED for seafood . and when i say seafood i mean , prawns , sotong , crab , lobster .... and blah . AAAND you get th picture .

which my mum has always said my dad should be ashamed of himself cos he comes from a seatown . but my dad is still a great dad to me , even if he doesnt eat seafood . at least he eats fish . mhm .

anw , i ate beef . yeah at a seafood restaurant .

haha and get this , when they brought this really hideous looking fish , that i must say looks just like my sister ( ok kidding ) my dad was like , tell them to cut the head offf . i dont want to see th head . it looks so grotesque . and i was like yeah totally or ill go jump into th sea .

so they brought th fish back headless .

and when they brought th chili crab , i poked and stabbed its gills .

you should try that sometime . its great fun . SQUISH .

went to walk in th water after tt . near th coast line . i liked th rushing of waves and then it crashes into your feet . better than eating crab , believe me . my sis couldnt go near cos of crutches . and my cuz , well he has a phobia of water . lol .

he kepy yelling at me to come bck , cos he thought i would get washed away or sth . i told him to chill and relax and he was still uneasy . so to make him feel better (hmph) i walked back in .

went to th airport after dinner . just to walk about terminal three i guess . it is freaking gleaming you dare not walk on its perfect carpets , cos you will feel so unworthy. lol

my sister sat in a trolley while my dad pushed . i asked for th same thing but he said he was embarrased enough having to push giulia around . so i hopped about in her crutches . its fun . but very unglam . but if you are shameless like me , anything is fine .

took th skytrain to T2 and ate ice cream at swensons .

my mum said one scoop only .

i asked for two scoops when my mum turned her back . (she would find out later and kill me )

i took bluberry and banana split . ( haha )

then we went home ....

and i only went to sleep at 2 plus in th morning ....

and now my cousin is badgering me to play badmtn w him .

goodness . i dont feel like even getting out of my chair , and he wants me to play badmtn .

but he's been asking for weeks . so fine . as much as i suck i will try t beat th crapp out of him (in badmintn of course )

LATER .

AND YEAH , HAPPY CNY everybody .

eat many , dont care . detox later .

oh dear god , my mum wants to teach me to cook . lordy . cant anyone see that im not in th mood . cut me some slack pls .

TODAY IM SAD .

2009-01-23T05:45:00.000-08:00

today im sad , tired , blearyweary , and confused . lol

vanny didnt come today . she went back to indonesia for CNY .
well have a happy reunion girl . see you soon :D

class was just like any other normal day .
today we were not given half day or any celebrations like last year .
apparently , thr was no time for tt because of th rush of camps and blah .
excuses ? lol .

i freaking didnt understand a word of maths today .
nth was able to penetrate th thick skull of mine .
couldnt process anything mrs ang was saying .
everything looked so chim and lengthy and looking at th board was enough t suffocate me .
SIGH . hopeless .
i'll have no choice but to go analyse th damn problems myself ( as lilian says . ) lol

english was boring . gawd . english used to be my fav subj . always was .
whats happening man . now th classses are bo-ring me to high heaven .
i dont know if im just gonna lose all interest in english too . this is depressing
she's a nice teacher (i think ?) but th lessons.... lordy . idk man
MHMM.

BIO .
holy enchilada .
need i say more (?)
spare me GOD . she's one big TART .
and was never cut to be a teacher . bless her soul . th POOR CHILD
teach lesson also want to carry bag or like last week kiap her pencilcase under armpits .
GOODNESS .
and then thanks to our good friend jeng , we have extra 30 mins of lessons next fri .
SWEET .

chinese . (and before)
tense atmosphere ?
gosh , what happened .
like JIN EN said , i shall not poke my fish lips (which doesnt make sense ) into this matter .
but i do know whats going on .
and i hope all will be fine .
you know who you guys are , i dont mean to interfere , but i hope some of you will come to your senses and have more trust&faith in your friends .
this isnt th way , we just started out as a class and plus some of you guys are so good friends , dont let this thing happen and tear you all apart . its not gonna look pretty and it'll only make everyone sad .
made me feel abit sad too cos erm idk so many solemn faces today ?
well cheer up and find a way to settle evrything in a peaceful way .
yep , tts all ive got to say .
i hope everything will be back t normal by next wed .
i love my new class and everyone in it , seeing some of them sad , th ones who ive managed to make friends with , it makes me sad to see things turn out this way .
cherish your good friends .
dont doubt them if they already told you th truth .
and let th matter rest .
RELAX :B

anw moving on ...

chem .
i slept cos th lab lights were off and i was just sleepy .
and ms tay , (SIGH) said loudly that thr was trg today . on purpose . haha
and yeah so no choice i had to go .
i wanted t pon cos ive this mindset that it will be boring and as everyone knows , if you havent worked hard for a long time , you wont feel like starting again .
i have been missing trg for 2 whole months , only turned up for last trg in dec and now i find it a chore to go for trg ,
which is bad . idk how im gonna get myself back together again .
maybe tts why today during trg i punished myself by running pyramid and 2 rounds around th school w JAM .
plus th trg itself of course .
which we did mainly on introducing th new sec ones to new stuffs .
played WD for 2 games
and goodness . i totally forgot what i was supposed t do for th first half of th game . i even ran offside . JEEZ .
so out of play for months until like that .
pathetic to th MAX .
must train harder t get back on form .
TIPPY TOP .
tts why im gonna be trg (self trg like mad ) by myself .
next years my last chance to go back into th team .
sont think i even stand a high chance but im gonna do everything t try to wiggle my way back in .
i'll always wanna have th last say .
*grins*

btw , th sec ones are really tall .
they get taller and taller every year .

trg was very very hot . HOOHAHOT . burning .
many were absent for trg today .

after trg , had a talk w ms tay abt bio teacher and jengy's wild behaviour (Lol) and many other
people in class . and well i promised ill go talk to him about her concerns but not like he'll listen .

(*)
i dont know why i find that(*) has drifted apart from some of us and doesnt seem to want to talk to us . is it just me or what . and that im such an irritable person to him . i do think alot abt th way ppl see me .
anw , its been bugging some of us , this , and ive finally written it on my blog .
been hiding lots of stuffs lately but today i just feel like letting all out .
in a discreet manner (i do try )
but not like he will read this anw . he's own blog has been taken down .
but if you do read this and hopefully you know that im talking abt you , i'll just say this .
maybe thr's a reason youve changed and maybe we know why but you cant desrt us like tt .
youre one of th good friends we have . and a great fun too .
sure you have your crowd , your buddies from cca , and their more than cca friends , but dont forget us alright . you seem far away .
we miss your stupid antics and th good times .

sometimes , i wonder if its because of her . but you know you can always talk to us about it . i know how much she means t you and how bad youve got it for her

i know beacuse i am going through th exact same thing .
and its all your fault .
you make me want to forget how to be human . being human can be painful and testing esp when it comes down to falling for someone who doesnt even care or know . and nevr will .
to actually be able to accept that horrid truth is just .. terrible .
but nth can ever help once you start brooding over it . and it just gets worse by th day .
each time i try to forget . it gets worse .
and i dont want to go near for fear of getting hurt . but cant bear to stay far .
i hate it .
and yet i cant say anything .
cos you will shun me for real if i were t tell you how much i want to be with you .

P.s. just sth i wanted t say ,
dont know if grismond knows me and sherlyn returned his nametag .
went to his class t find him (he doesnt know who th hell we are ) and he wasnt thr anw
i was thinking , can i get 1 merit point for my act of honesty ? i mean i could have sold his nametag on ebay . he's not that bad . i bet many girls have th hots for him . just that his hair looks horrid now .

P.P.S.
qi zhi did tarot card readings for me today . she did past present future , and not celtic cross .
(ill ask for tt next time )
i got th chariot card , the empress card and another one i cant rmb .
and th conclusion is : happiness , changes , leadership(LOL) , acceptance .
mhmm , if only that were t come true .
i love her cards . they look so medivial .
but its damn ex . her pack cost about 50 bucks plus .
but nice collection .
i hope its not dabbling w th dark arts or sth right ? ( haha i sound like im in harry potter )

P.P.P.S

th fan still isnt working .
SUCKS .

rofl . *** a big reminder to myself ; buy history books !

2009-01-22T02:36:00.000-08:00

hello again . on second thoughts ,

im kinda busy and got stuff to do so will blog abt today tmrw .

HAHA .

CIAO ! :D

CAMP. CHOMPCHOMP.

2009-01-22T00:46:00.000-08:00

a random pic taken by giulia in camp shirt . not clear . haha
my face to start off this post ;D

jeng totally screwed this pic . must have been looking at some girl .
and then my head gets blocked . ssweeeet . hmph

finally he looks at th cam . haha cute group picture .

im blocked by wei sheng , haha and jengY looks at dont know where

jeng looking at cam but vanny blocked and jeremy's poor head can
barely be seen . lol

pictures in th bus on th way to dairy farm ....

vivian and yilin ;D

serena and dumb freak maggot . HAHA!

huimin and jacq =]

wendy and alice ^^

me , sherlyn , winny , yanting X}
YOHO !

back from camp yesterday .

i didnt blog ytd cos was very tired after coming back from arcade and mad feasting at MAC w some 3/2 peeps . (haha , wasnt actually feasting but i did overdo myself . ) AS USUAL !

anw , camp was erm , fun , disgusting , scorching hot , thrilling , PETRIFYING , HIGH , mad , WILD crazy and yeah , mostly ,the usual camp moods . haha

wont really go by days but sort of mash up everything together . BAHA ;D

but itll still be in a nice orderly nuttyshell ;D

for camp , i borrowed my dad's trackpants so it was friggin thick long , baggy and uncomfortable .

but i so dont have trackpants now . i dont do aerobics or whatsis . haha .

and yeah cant wear my MOMMA's one cos she's so teeny .

i brought so many stuffs . when actually didnt really use in th end . like my tumbler -.-

raincoats , blah . all never use .

and i did bring my monkeys .

th recent one i bought at th zoo , he's a chimp though lilian says he is a gorilla /. lol

he's freaking expensive . 20 bucks over , just for a chimp face and stuffing . but so cute cant resist . haha my mother didnt want to buy me th rattlesnake so she bought me that instead .

anw , im sidetracking , back to camp .

generally , th dorms , which are called huts LOL , were so so .

th dairy farm looks like sth out of a twilight setting kinda thing ,

for a moment , you'd believe that there were actually werewolves and shewolves living inside th forest . w th cullens . laughs .

th ponds were kinda dirty, still and well gross . perfect breeding grounds for mosquitoes .

not that i actually got any bites , ( my blood isnt that sweet i guess ) haha

me and vanny enjoyed looking at th pondskaters and th dragonflies anw . lol

P.S. i think there were daddylonglegs . that place gives me th creeps , totally looks like it .

moving on....

first day , well th lunch was horrid .

but still edible .

rice portion for th three days was damn small . im amazed my stomach didnt eat itself from hunger or sth . and no , i did not almost die of malnutrition .

HAHA . but th food was pathetic .

went for dragon boating . VERY FUN . COOL STUFF .

it was really hot . was scorched !

me and huimin ended up being th pacers for our group's boat , sitting right at th front .

oh yah i forgot to mention camp leaders , SHAUN / SHAWN / SEAN (*delete accordingly*) haha , vanny's little joke . and LYNN (so chirpy and natural ) ;D

anw , shaun took our boat and we paddled , long short longs , short long shorts and so on .

it wasnt that hard except that it got tiring after a while and huimin and i had a hard time cos we had to coordinate .

when we reached other so called rival boats , splashed water w th paddles like siao . sometimes , i just sat thr and covered my head cos i liked th feeling of being drenched .

once 3A got so near , shazuan ( pardon me pal , idk how to spell your pretty name ) haha . well anw , as i was saying , that fella totally knocked me hard on th head . *CONK ! * with th paddle . i was wearing my cap but it hurt like mad .

th balaku , bumpity bump only appeared after th 2nd day . YOUCH .

.....

we had outdoor cooking and camp preparations , vanny gave ideas for th cheers to do on th actual campfire night and th second cheer was cute . haha . we're still mad about it .

had night hike , it was alright i guess just a bit too long taken to get started . but talked to ernest about many things including that jerk , (WONT SAY WHO HERE ) HAHA . its good to know that someone is not blind to his outer sweet gentle nature , lol . BOZO .

anw , after walking throught th forest , came to a clearing , a big area to sit and do some really nice star gazing . it was a clear night so there were lots of pretty lights and stars to see . i so would have loved t sleep there . SWEET X}

showertime that night sucked bigtime .

i washed my hair in th basin , (boys toilet ) .

th water supply was pathetic , very little . like .... *DRIP. DRIP .DRIP. * sigh =.=

it was only at th last minute i dared to bathe topless at th boy's open shower .

cos when youre desperate , you can do anything . like this . gosh . haha

ariff tried to go in th boys toilet .

thank heavens he did not .

god knows how many naked peeps were in thr .

lost my booklet on first day . great ;D

didnt manage to sleep much that night .

but did talked to lilian about certain things , sometimes like i said pretending to be happy is all but a sad distraction . at th end of th day , when th lights are turned off and no one sees your face , you just cant hold back and you gotta spill , and in her case , i was th person right next to her when we slept . sometimes , something taht might not mean much to others just hold so much meaning to another person and all at once those memories come back .

i sort of moved downwards as i slept .

woke up every other hour . semi-conscious i guess .

it was pretty cold in th weeeee hours of th morning .

chilly temperatures .

..... day 2 , did high elements . was really looking foward to it cos i was kinda deprived of doing such thrilling stuffs during p5 camp cos i chickened out and got cold feet at th last moment when climbing up . anw , for this camp's case , i wanted t try out . ernest and benson made it look so easy i thought i'll be fine . but when i reached th top , i was already freaking out . gawd , it was scary . looking down only made matters worse . looking straight ahead only made me want to run to th other end . LOL

did abseiling and rock climbing . i suck at rock climbing . i dont plan my route but just grab rocks and climb as i please . haha

my knucles were sore and pain from gripping .

bad grip :D

i guess badminton ppl owned th rock wall ? *laughs*

bryan , ernest and nicholas all made it to th top of th chain .

nicholas made it twice , on th left lane , th next day .

was disappointed that did not get to do flying fox .

that was th one and only element i was truly looking foward too .

i wanted t feel to adrenaline rush , just like how it feels like when you sit on a good , roaring rollercoaster ride .

ms tay did try though . haha

practice our cheers , and jeng and ernest created their signature move . doofus style . BAHA!

after high elements , played games in a room in th boys dorm where ernest broke two panels of glass . (nicely done) haha . joker

CAMPFIRE !!!

awesome stuff .

we had performances , from each class .

i think we were alright only that our cheer was also used by 3B .

so abit PS , but not our fault . th second cheer was th better one . entertaining too .

but dont think ernest and jeng actually added th finishing touch . haha

they gotta keep their man's pride . ROFLOL

sang alot of songs and cheers . had a mighty high time . i loved th different variations of boom-chika-wakka-chika-boom . esp , marcus' version . (gu niang ) haha

th teachers were forced t come up and shake their butts and move . not that they really did but some of them , not bad , like mr lian and mr ong . HAHA .

mostly it was fun and wild and high . thrilling .

this time , showertime was longer .

to make th long queue move faster in th guy's toilet , vanny and me washed our hair in th basin and bathed in a cubicle together , haha . nth to hide now . th water flow was damn good . so damn shiok ;DD

jeng was nice enough to give his extra copy of th booklet (lol) so i wrote my leetle thoughts there . said bye to lynn cos she was leaving for another school th next day

next day , received camp shirts , checked out , got our valuables back , did a little bit of rock climbing , for grp 4 . i helped out alot cos would be bored sitting down . and erm in th end not much wanted to try . th rocks were kinda slippery though

did some cleaning in canteen then ....

after really long , headed back for school .

some of us planned t eat at MAC like i mentioned and we went to th arcade(bryan and jengY went to some LAN shop)mhm . anw i totally sucked at daytona . i swear th steering wheel moves by itself . okay im a sad joke wyhen it comes to that . lol

th drum one , we had five people playing one drumset . lol

was fun lah , hanging out as almost a class . i hope for more of that in th future . i dont wanna waste time for bonding . 2/1 peeps majority are close but we only bonded in our second year and its sad that theres not much time , so i wanna spend well these two years w you guys , and have good times with you all and go through th hard times all th way till th end of our Olevels . *GRINS*

as much as i havent been able t talk to some of you guys , i have already made some new friends ., no rushing , take our time and get to know each other better and one day we will all be inseperable . of course never ever forgetting our sec2 friends who are always close to our hearts . ok speaking for myself , my heart . two years can be a short time and a long time , depending on how you see it . so lets make good use of it to come united as one and just be there looking out for each other's back . i love company so im gonna love making many new friends . (not a primary school thing to say ) as much as family is important and number one , friends will always be kept close t the heart . i look foward to th many good , bad , ugly , sad , crazy times we will have as a class .

you gotta find that flame that keeps th class spirit going . and yeah going strong . (HAHA im starting to sound like some campleader freak ) but i mean all that i say :D

tts about it for camp . i love 3/2 . maybe thats too early to say but i feel like i belong somehow . almost . this is just th beginning . its hard to say ;D

you guys are gonna rock my socks ! HA.

LOVE FOR ALL ....... ! haha

3/2 is all gonna be major stuffssssss ! YEEHA .

p.s.next post shall be about tdy ..... lol

DULL MADNESS .

2009-01-17T18:36:00.000-08:00

sis waiting t take xray .

crying like shit in espalnande . she looks like a buttwipe here . poor stuff

my cousin looks spastic here so i had to put it up . cos it
bothered him so much so i had to put it up . teehee . im bad

see how feeble he looks (vanny , thats called feeble alright )

he makes me feel like a sumo .

yesterday was so depressing .

tragic , and boring and unlucky at the same time .

bad karma (?)

HMPH.

was really late for art first thing .

was scared th teacher , (gawd i havent been able t rmb her name) would scold me cos last week was really late but she seemed cool abt it . cos jade and pei helped me tell her some excuse . lol and i didnt have to sit next to gay converse guy this time round .

p.s. i discovered he's art is beautiful .

i have newfound respect for that dude even though he does sings rather horridly aloud to mariah carey and speaks really squeakily despite being so big sized . LOL

anw , i was gonna buy my acrylic paints and i went to th main office and erm well th doors are kinda heavy so i yanked th doors and erm well i almost fell back cos th door didnt open . NO ACCESS GRANTED . last week i could go in wthout th card @.@

anw , th lady happened to come out and she told me that it was out of stock or th sales for art materials had ended -.-

made order w own teacher instead .

during class jade showed me some really ..... ( omg he's doing it again z) someone murder me ! anw going back ,, as i was saying , she showed me some really sweet pictures of last time at chris' birthday party and pictures of christopher and giulia together . HAHA so cute .

she's gonna send over pictures . then i'll post them ;D

moving on . everything seemed to be fine until th end of class where we went to wash our stuff , we went in th handicap toilet cos i wanted t show jade sth . wont mention it here . HAHA .anw , she wanted to take a picture and i was so reluctant .(naturally)

and then because i am th shortest of th three -.-

jade claims i only come up to her boob level . -.- so not true .

anw , they made me stand in front and i was getting up cos i was bending , well i banged against the left side of th wall where there was a shower head and a button and yeah well th water came pouring down on me . WHOOSH . just like that .

and well th pics not w me , its w jade .

it made quite some pattern on th back of my shirt and it looked kinda nice i guess ? lol

i didnt appreciate it until i saw it later on jades phone . i thought i was a mess . my hair was wat like rats fur that got wet in th drain pipe sewage system or wtv . in other words it just look horrid . torrid ! (?lol)

after class , jade and i went to get some open house goodies . i dont think we were allowed and th girl who gave us was quite reluctant . lol .

but inside magazine so -.-

teenage issue was nov 2008.

after class i was in th mood to go anywhere , so badly wanted t go home and plus , my phone's batt was dying so wanted to go charge but my parents had other plans . i had alot of work i wanted to do cos next week had camp . anw i really wasnt very enthu THRILLED abt going anywhere . cos well you know , erm i cant say cos erm th reason's right erm next to me right now so itll be kinda erm hard . im stuttering i know . sigh i hate this . ok he's sitting beside me as i write this . AGAIN . *ROLL YOUR EYEBALLS COUNTERCLOCKWISE AND CLOCKWISE EVERYONE IF YOU WANNA SHOW ME SYMPATHY* and he's dictionary is here too . i dont care if he can read what th above says . pfffwt.

anw first my dad drove to vivo city . they wanted t go sentosa . like yay . mhmm -.-

then my mom called and said there was a change of plans . she wanted to meet us at th omni theatre , sci centre .

and yeah so we went thr with giulia grumbling all th way . me spitting sparks. lol

when we finally did reach it was around 6 plus .

went to th sci park then went to watch this movie at th omni , WILD OCEAN .

omg , let me tell you that was th worst movie in th history of movies , in th history of omni movies . not counting max payne and haha yeah strangers *laughs* rmb guys ?

i thought you know WILD OCEAN wow so nice , got all th marine life and nice nice cool diving expeditions and stuff ( i did ever consider being a marine biologist afterall (that was a long time ago ))

and guess what we saw , the whole darn movie was abt feaking sardines , how they went in large groups to th coast of africa , and erm other than th dramatic effects of th music and th sardines ggoing in all directions as one , there were scenes of th dolphins and their sonar sounds which sounded like a mixture of tortured pig squeals and door creaking . lol

and thats pretty much it .

i can say th only thing i truly liked abt th movie was th lkast part where they put th tribal music of african tribes and th african people dancing in whirly circles . i was th only one left in th theatre banging my head against th head of my seat and just you know , erm appreciating music . i think i might go DL some tribal beats later . cool stuff , well my whole family left me alone thr banging my head . i guess they were embarrased . but they should be used t it .

my obsession w tribal arts . their accesories , music , (not their clothes ) and yeah their erm everything else . not their practices though . lol . yeah you better get thaT RIGHT . HAHA anw some of ya'll know how crazy i was over th "MANGO'' singing from king george and his grandson (forgot his name ) in th movie australia . i sang it everyday . and still do . to my dog though . he's th only one thats enchanted by it . apparently , it puts him into deep slumber ;D

ask me , ill sing it to you some time . TEEHEE

anw , my weight on th moon is 10kg . and 140 plus on saturn . ROFL

and on earth , well gosh freaking heavy . equivelant to a baby elephant .

BAHA!

oh i forgot to mention that i fell down face first when i tried to do standing broad jump . i suck at it btw . its my worst component after incline pull ups . teehee .

anw , i wanted to eat black noodles for dinner . but my mother didnt want so we went to eat korean food instead which is depressing cos thats about all ive been eating th past few weeks cos of my cousin . SIGH .

anw at the restaurant , i ordered seafood by accident and well my food came with scallops , oysters and cuttlefish ( YUCKS) . and well just like how vanny and maggot pick their veggies out of their food , i picked all th seafood out of mine . but there was nth much i could do . th seafood essence was already mixed with everything in th soup . ROARS .

but i still ate cos i was hungry like crapp . and after eating , my lips sort of swelled abit . (jinen i know what youre thinking , and you had better not call me THAT out of sympathy for my swollen lips ) and well my throat felt so weird and hoarse .

this always happens when i eat anything seafood . strnagely not for fish . i think im alitlle allergic to slimy stuffs . haha

anw , th swelling went down after some time . so i wont have to go back to school looking so obscene like th time my lips got damned . (good ol days ) rofl

anw , after that we went to th esplanade . i spent a long time in this shop where they have this cool collectibles of movie posters dating all th way back to th 198os ... being a total junkie when it comes to movies , i swear if i had th $ ill go buy th whole shop . there was this band of brothers poster quite nice . and many. winny , they even had ponyo . HAHA

i wanna start collecting ;D

we went to look for my cuz and parents at th roof after tt . so many couples , erm making out . lol i swear i tried to not look but they sit there for all to see what . haha

anw stayed thr for a while and it was kinda dark so my sis was jumping off this ledge and th next thing you know , she had fractured or sprain her ankle . BLEH . =.=

and then th drama started . she started crying and wailing . and my arse of a cousin laughed . apparently he found it funny . well it kinda ruined all th couples make out session as they unglued themselves from each others loving embrace ( omg ok im getting cheesy ) to watch their blissful romantic evening turn into HORRORS!!! by my sis loud banshee wailings and screamings and cryings , AND ... you get th picture .

my dad had to piggyback her all th way down to th carpark . well it was an odd sight . my mum telling her to calm down . my cousin walking stiffly behind and me carrying her stinky shoes . lol and her skirt flapping in th wind as my dad ran .

i did offer t carry her but my dad refused . well itll look strange .

and now come to think of it . if i sprain sth and wont be able t walk , they'll have to drag me along th floor cos ill probably crush my dads back and he will be bent stiff for life if he had to carry me . they should use me as weights in th army . then they'll be really muscly . BAHA .

ok thats a really ugly thought . lol

anw we went to th emergency room at KK and well th emergency room was full of people . mostly wailing babies , and my wailing sister . yeah , she kept moaning . but i dont blame her . it did look nasty her ankle was swollen like , omg i dont know how to describe . and then she had bllod spewing out of a deep cut on th other foot . TRAGIC .

she got th chance to sit on a wheelie , (tts what i call wheelchairs)

and well emergency consultation was 80bucks . GOODNESS . and th entrance to th esplanade for two cars was 11 bucks in total . and th lousy dinner for 5 was 80 bucks plus . omg . tt just made our evening suck real bad . and then idk th cost but dont forget th ex-ray fees and th fees for her beautiful cast and th crutches . i spent like 3hrs plus in th waiting room in total w whole family . it was boring to th max . there were babies crying everywhere . one little dude vomitted just some few metres away from me . th tv shows sucked . watched fantastic four and powerpuff girls on cartoon network . PPG was alright . and thr was hulk i think . and well idk cos i fell asleep despite all that noise . i can sleep through anything .

like i always like t say . even th roaring of jetplanes .

anw , what made me wake up every few minutes was th horrible hard plastic seat and it was effin cold in thr . my sis got a blanket and a comfy wheelchair but not me .

then she did go see th doc . i think he's just an intern going through th househusband stage ....

he had a yellow carebear pinned to his coat . (i think huiting will like him )*grins* ,

after she came out still coulnt go , had to wait for dont know what . my dad said he'll send cousin and me home cos it was already going to be 1 am . but i promised my sis i wont leave her till evrything's over so i waited . (im a good sis) so i was stuck thr w my mum till 1 plus , she finally got her cast . omg its freaking heavy . i mean idk cos ive never worn one .

i was damn bored anw cos phone also no batt cannot msg or call anyone . sigh -.-

anw , tt was my very velly eventful sat night .

my sis didnt sleep on her bed cos she's on a double deck and she would have to climb so she slept on my parents bed w my mum and dad .

omg , i tell you , last night i dreamt about eating raw meats of polar bears , it was horrifying dream . and th weird thing is , i caught th polar bear in a mangrove swamp not in alaska or some winterland .

and i cried over th reamins of th polar bear after eating its raw meat . sad , dumb and gross right .

that's th worst dream i ever had even worse than th time i dreamt i was a lesbian . ( now that one got me screaming like shit when i woke up )

Z .

P.S today i ate a fortune cookie ,

and this is what it said : you will soon meet a certain someone who will be of great help in your career .

if only that were t be true .

HAHA .

will post pic of sis in cast and crutches later .

P.P.S . my sis said i can have her crutches after she recovers . i think its kinda fun and i use it to scare my dawg . he's frightened of it . HAHA

WEEK IN A MESSY NUTSHELL

2009-01-16T04:27:00.000-08:00

trying my !!!! hardest to knock chiachin down

i swear 2 years ago i knocked him flat within seconds , now i am struggling w great difficulty to save myself from being knocked down . but he wins anw . either my muscles have eloped (haha) t fats , or chiachin's get muscly . lol

i made him do this . you gotta amuse me somehow . no matter
how lame . ;D

vanny trying to be some palace lady with all those clips in her hair . but she claims she is th devil . like some devilspawn , tts one gay devil . rofl

ernest (vanny claims )

(sadlee/sally . says vanny )

their beautiful children . *TEEHEEEE*

the other batch of beautiful children . SHEESH

i dont think he's even father material . ok pls do not kill me .

im just playing along w th joke .

my monkey . pepenott . gerard died

a rare species of maggot . but looks no diff than th actual thing

i love th walll . its cool

gayish pose at a desperate attempt to block his face . BAHA

maggot sim candid shot .

SHOE hui and vanny ;D

an artist impression of th nonexstent sally /sadlee

done by yours truly . *GRINS*

tt's a really freaky smile . haha

HELLO !

i know i havent been blogging .

and i never do until th end of th week (at least ive started to realise)

i just dont have th mood these days .

HAHA . funny i should even say that .

this was a wasted week . barely did anything .

i skived off taking my HPs, cos i got thinking about certain things ,

and i wondered (whether its foolish or not) what if , just maybe , if things dont change even if i take them . i mean pretending to be JOYFUL , or erm even a teeny bit enthu and happy flappy is all but a sad distraction right ? lol

so i stopped , for exactly 5 days now .

and th change has been drastic and bad . at home at least .

gawd , im screwed . seriously .

and friends dont know this . at least most of them dont ,

i take out all th unhappiness mostly on th people at home (unfortunately ) sigh

which is a real bad time seeing as how my cuz is here .

he's another one that i cant stand .

my sis too . she told on me earlier this week on sth i did and i seriously pissed me off to the moon .

she was trying to act all righteous , when she truly is one big fat TART herself ( fake buttwipes )

total suck up . to my mum of course .

and to think of all those times i helped her lie to my mum that she already played th piano when she had too much work to do cos she knows my mum will be unhappy . (she likes to impress my parents-.-) so a little bit of failure to accomplish some crapp task like that will get her stressed . and theres th time , or should i say times when i always drink her damn juice , eat her meat and vegetables when my mums not looking . and i took th blame once when she couldnt finish th wheatgrass . i told my mum , i was th one who threw it away cos i pitied my sis for trying so hard so i decided t be nice and do her a favour . this sounds so long and braggy and childish , but its just my bitch rants . i got it let it all out dont i . sigh

and thr's my mum im getting so pissed at . apparently she's getting so caught up in her work sometimes i swear she's living in a parallel universe . EARTH TO MY MOTHER .

like how when i was teeling her abt normal stuffs , like last week , abt ms lesa being mrs sim now, (ok small thing BUT . ) and suddenly she asked me to go get th newspaper for me .

if you dont know how tt feels , its like getting your face slapped . and it smarts real bad .

and thats not th first time . my dad has laughed when it always happens . but its not funny .

ytd my sis was trying to impress her with sth about school and she suddenly called someone on her phone and started jabbering away . abt work but its infuriating /

then im having second thoughts abt letting her continue working .

i want her to quit so she'll come back to earth and not float abt th stars along th milky way .

but i was th one who forced her to start working 3 years ago cos i hated how she was always at home and controlling my freedom so much .

and now , to ask her to quit after she's come this far , expanded her social network and blah and more connected , (and yeah of course i still wanna keep th freedom and th nagging at bay) *smirks* i dont have th heart or rather yeah well yeah i dont want her to freaking quit .

and im annoyed by my cousin's prescence too .

you wouldnt understand . no one will cos yeah he's in my house .

my sis feels th same .

he's 2 years younger but i cant tolerate him . i just cant . omg , how to i explain this /.

its like mutual dislike . everyone has experienced it . just like maggot and chicked backside . its that kinda thing . anw , its getting on my nerves and i cant wait till th month's up .

beacuse i dont like him , i pinpoint him for every small thing . its so cruel and mean but i dont like him !! ARGH . it could have been jihoon(his younger bro) , myunghoon , or whats the other one . but just not him . SIGH .

he would do things like peek at me when im msging people . and when i laugh abt sth , he will ask if im laughing at what my BF sent me . which is so bleh because of cos thats not th case . then he will try to recite slowly what im typing or my msg !! ARGH . then he spends and effing long time in th toilet . omg whad the hell . even i dont spend tt long . IM sorry . but is like you know , PCC in thr . if you get what i mean . its too crude to write out . then he keeps trying to suffocate my dog . GOODNESS . and my dog's yelping -.- and he laughs . MURDER ME

btw , he doesnt even eat kimchi . what kinda korean is that . SHEESH .

our kim stock has all finished thanks to him . dayummit .

and ever since he's here , my mum and maid have been waking up reeeelly early just to cook him breakfast of rice and god knows what . i know he's a guest but he shouldnt be pampered t this extent .

OMG , im rolling . this ranting is biting my skin . WHOO.

and so i continue ! this boy , he keeps blushing when he talks to me , and doesnt even want to look me properly in th face and omg , he stops in mid sentence and says nvm . or mumbles .

you know , if it was some boy i liked i would have found it cute and shy and yeah cute , but its just plain annoying to me for his case .

OMG , then its been th third or second week he's here , he shouldnt be so shy anymore .

then he keeps boasting abt playing so much soccer . PLs . im a girl and my legs are far chunkier then his . ok fine i do eat more . but why does he boast so much . then he talks abt all th girls after him . ROARS . and i thought he was th girl . he's so , feeble ?

not because he's smaller than me i say that , cos of th way he is . so wimpy . and get this . when im using th comm , he sits beside me and looks at everything . if im on msn , he tries to read my convr and even uses a dictionary . OMG . someone stone me now . pls .

and then he'll ask me to slow down so that he can read everything . omg , whats he trying to do ?? thats not th best way to learn english you know . of course we all do . only he doesnt ! BAH ! and well he's just not my type lah . he doesn tknow any jokes and well he makes me feel lik a barbarian .

sigh there's others .... but i wont say . im already sounding like an old hag .

ok moving on (finally)

this week , mhmm ,

very stressful for maggot . for certain reasons i shall not say to erm , respect her privacy . HAHA

its driving her bonkers anyway . and me bonkers too . hang in thr buddy .

well , lessons are a total bore .

i am disappointed w the eng lessons .

they are boring to high heaven .

i miss last year lessons .

well th teacher is sweet i guess ? but its just dead boring .

i gotta confess to , something really bad . i feel so guilty .

erm whether or not 3/2 peeps will see this or tchers will ,

well i didnt exactly finish my eng compo . i only finish 1/2 of it but i didnt own up and i wanted to stick my head in a bottle of tar when th rest who didnt do got scolded today .

but its for survival . save myself . i have had enough of ppl yelling at me . lol

P.S i actually think mrs ang and daryl are at loggerheads .

and i dont want to lag behind in maths this year .

sigh , history shall so not repeat its ugly self .

we got news that 3/3 made ms joy lee , th impossibly , erm imbpossible weird bio subst cry today . greatness , not . i feel bad for her but i dont know , i just dont think she's cut to be a teacher . she should try interacting with th reptiles and th singapore zoo .

gawd , she just cant be a teacher . thats sounds so cruel but YEAH !

and i dont know whether i should be relieved she's gonna be here only for 4 mths , or worried tt she's gonna be here 4 mths . 4 mths can be a long or short time , whatever way you see it .

enough of her . lets give her a break .

P.P.S .

i scored lowest in class for th probability test .

12/20 . shame , but whatever , i was half sleeping .

call me stupid , dumb whatever ya'll want . i feel so dim witted myself .

its funny actually to score shitmarks for sth that cant even be taught cos its basic common sense . BAHA!

i went for th first trg of theeee year ytd .

and well , ill be honest its boring to me .

maybe cos i havent been around so long .

and well a little bit more kik would be fun.....

pssst. th Bdiv's shoes are effin gorgeous . i dont dare even think abt buying them .

i'll consider .

went to bio and chem lab this week where arun and someone alse broke some beakers . haha

we saw cheek cells and onion cells .

i really hope we can see cooler cells like a eyeball cell or smth like tt .

HA .

oh yeah , i almost forgot .

ytd we had an after assembly spot check (HEAD TO YOUR TICKLY TOES) .

dedicated only to us girls .

and that cant be good . at least for us .

th guys all were so jubilanT abt it . mhmm

anw , i pinned every strand of my hair up . a total of 8 or 9 clips on my head .

what do they think we are , SIA stewardess , (im not even cut for one .BAH! )

i thought i was a nun anw .

vanny said bring showercaps . anw

my socks was unacceptable which was disappointing as being someone who forgets to wear them daily , i made an effort to wear ytd .

i was made to buy new high itchy scratchy bitty batty socks from th bookshop lady .

they put her at th back of th halll-.-

well get this , th plastic on th cheapo 1 buck socks said : resist fungus , stink resilent , stn abt soaking up sweat and , GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME ASIA . the advanced technology in th world .

JEEZ . if you need THE ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY IN TH WORLD T MAKE ONE BUCK SOCKS , you can go spin yarns and eat grass for th rest of your life .

i'll post th pic tmrw .

yeah , thats some sad stuff . and th english is atrocious .

ROFLOLOLOLOLOL .

today , evrything was a blur in school ....

had compo test , chinese and thr were no spare dict , so erm , yeah bad bad .

many words ive forgotten which makes me pathetic . lol

we still havent gotten our yearbooks which is a total bummer +.+

after school , was at school mostly , but had lunch first at mac-.-

im sick of eating macdonalds already . im craving for mexican food again .

i cannot stop thinking about enchiladas . im sick . foodlove sick that is .

anw , today for lunch i ate : beef prosperity burger , chocolate sundae , vanilla milkshake , redbean pie , medium twister fries , and one chicken drumstick or wing or breast idk .

i wanted subway , but maggot hates them . lol

sherlyn made a fool of herself again today .(naturally)

HAHA .

i wanted t study at mac after that , but decided t go back school .

so we went up to class and erm , suddenly , i felt so guilty from eating all that junk .

i couldnt take it , i went to run 15 rounds on th 4th level . at least the air's fresher up thr .

i borrowed maggots shoes cos its better and pe shirt from this fella , cheng you apparently it belongs to another girl . lol and i ran .

it was very sian running th same route so i wanted t run th route we used to run for trg outside school but sher said no , and well its dumb , if i get a heatstroke outside , no one will know also . i wanted t do pyramid but didnt want to raise any suspicions tt i had gone mad . or had some adrenaline rush so i ran like a mad dog .

and after that , my muscles ached like shitz .

i was gonna force myself to go another set of 15 , but sher said i was mad , and it dawned on me , i was probably mad too . so i just skipped one level and went down with them to borrow skipping ropes from pe room but cant get access so yeah nvm .

..... then went back . didnt do any studying

im so not in th mood anyway .

went home and yeah , drank 1.2 l of soyabean .

th 100 plus i drank before that made me so thirsty . idk why . lol

i was so bloated , i wanted t puke .

im feeling better now lol .

i shall study tomorrow .

want to go sleep soon .

dont know who'll bother reading so much , but its to make up for th lack of posts this week anyway .

i ever thought of closing down my blog and trying to start a diary . be more personal but idk yet . i like blogging . SOMETIMES . i can be really crapsy (LOL) if i want .

ok , pls tag more everybody . my blogs not dying . its already decomposing . rotting .

P.P.P.S .

my sis is trying to put my dawg's paws on th foot massage .

which tickles like hell .

but he seems to feel nth .

ok , how random

BYE ! X}

2009-01-12T06:16:00.000-08:00

GORDY LORDY !

how long has it been since i last blogged ?
i havent been exactly faithful . (naturally) sigh .
haha nvm .

P.S. ignore th zillion trillions . okay multiple tagboards on my blog . i cant be bothered t fix them codes so they shall be left alone and not tampered with .
BAHA .

ok moving on .....

school was so , erm uneventful ?
met sherlyn earlier today to have breakfast at mac where she drank half of a small milo and her bladder was alr bursting to screams . (wtv that means . laughs)
i drank , one large , plus in th morning one orange juice and lasted all th way to around chem , which is after recess .
before that sherlyn kept making frequent trips t the toilet .
i cant imagine what it'll be like when she's pregnant . (if you know what i mean)
anw , cant laugh at maggo too much . cos around chem till after school , i got th full bladder bug from her and kept running non stop to th toilet . sadness

anw , today was shiok lah in th morning .
while all th other people were walking in one direction hurrying off to work or school ,
we skipped merrily along and took our own sweet time .
this woman on th bus kept staring at me accusingly . and i guess when she couldnt take it , she said , '' girl ah , you are very late for school , or are you trying to pon ?'' and i said with all coolness(BAHAHAHAHA TEEHHEEEEWEE) i assure you my dear lady i am so not late for school /. ok i didnt actually say that but you get th idea .
she wasnt convinced though . but who cares .
im th one , we amksians th ones living th good life on mondays here X}

and yeah hub MAC was flooded w amksians .
and th aircon wasnt working this morning .
and i swore i would have eaten a big breakfast if it wasnt for th scrambled eggs and gallons of juice i drank before going .

anw , moving on ,
mrs ang didnt come today .
probably th sore throat getting worse .
so no maths . YAYNESS ?
lol . but hope she's better tmrw anw ;D

instead of doing our worksheets mdm chong gave us ,
sherlyn and i started ranting on stuff .
and became mad . (as always )
then i dont rmb around when it was when th four GAGAS sitting near me started talking abt some sally .
OH SEHLE .
they were talking about their imaginery friend who didnt even have a chair to sit on and ate an invisible lollipop .
JEEZ .
haha they were not trying to be cute . they were for real .
anw to summarize ,
its kinda complicated but here's some tag words .
BADMINTON RACKET , ERNEST , ELOPE , and yeah tada sally .
well if you didnt get any of that , neither did i . BAHA .
ask MAMASASA vanny and she'll tell ya .
lol however much i disapproved th existence of this sally sehle , i drew a big eye poppin face on her table and a vampire smiley . and xing jun added braces for th face . LOL .
HA . sally sally .

enough of sally !

ROFL . oh yeah , we didnt get our yearbooks . what a pooper . BUMMERZXZXZ!
BUM BUM BUM .

and th fav topic of zee day ,
BIO .
well no impeovement .
it just gets worse everytime i see her .
effin hilarious .
still has her blackbox paper . yeah . gawd , whats th point .
is she trying to play chinese checkers or something ? or chess maybe .
yeah we should get her that .
ANIEEEWAYYY .....
today's funny thing was tt she kept her pencil case clutched tightly (VVVV TIGHTLY)
under her armpit during class and refused to put it down .
thats like so smelly and uncomfortable .
whydja wanna torture yourself like that .
SIGH .
anw as usual , she talked t thee whiteboard instead of (as cliched as it may sound) projecting her voice . her voice can get kinda wavery too . but wtv .
then when she does turn to look at us , she looks at th celing at th back like she's looking up at th heavens . *TRUMPETS PLAYING*

i was so busy laughing , trying my best not to pee in my pants from uncontrollable running bladders and laughters (pardon me for th disgusting description , but i speak th truth ) . well i didnt learn anything .
all i knew was that she did her best to draw th cell parts in super riiiiich detail and FINEEEEEE .

SIGH > SIGH > SIGH .
mrs veda , you gotta come back , god knows how you teach but im sure its way better than THIS .

but erm , she did make an improvement .
she didnt do lizard moves today ,
actually thats a hot fav . she should do it more often th next time round .
GAWD i am so bad . but no one's complaining . *GRINS*

SOCIAL STUDIES was AYEEEE BORE . BOO BORE BAH !
boredom that stinks to high heaven .
GOD save us alll .
th tcher thought sherlyn was a retard anw cos she was trying to play injection on me . (you know th kiddy pri school thing you use to do ?) injecting lead into your friend's arm .
yeah thats the one .
you gotta understand . maggots dont really have much of a life .
HAHA . ok kidding .

anw , i perched my monkey on th top of th class cupboard today during 2 periods of chem .
he sat thr and watched th world whizzzzzz slowly past byyyyy .
he's gerard no more . i renamed him pepenott after th cute little french boy in some francais frenchie french movie .
and i almost called him pepenott pipette aftr ms tay taught us abt th burette and pipette tdy . but i figured it would sound too gay . BAHA .

after school , sher and i went for lunch at , MAC-.-
well she didnt want pepperlunch , S11 , subway(sobs) , and MOS.B .
so yeah its mac all th way till kingdom come ...........................
and our friends will watch in awe as we fatten up . then i can sit on whoever i hate and crush th person t death . thats way better than th anaconda . im already on my way thr . you just wait *SMIRKS*

LOL . anw it was flooded w anderson people . they were making sucha din . lol
and i stood in the toilet and ps sherlyn for several minutes just listening to this really BEAUTIFOOOOOOOOOOOL song that i just didnt catch th freaking artiste .
anw , i ate th beef prosperity burger , double . drank ice lemon t , ate curly fries plus some of sher's and ate mac flurry . and sher just had ice cream cone which she didnt even make it till th end cos she dropped it (naturally)
and small fries and curly wurly fries !
so i was pooffing full .
anw we walked around . and damn , th banana i wanted from artbox that i'd planned on buying since last year is not there anymore . BUMMER .
anw that place is so depressing .
th things are so cute but th price is so scary .
anw we scared jackie ,yanting , alyssa and winny at subway and vene and huiting at pepperlunch .
and as we wwere gg home , had to rush . cos grace lesson at 4 ,
this tico sicko smiled at sherlyn in a sick way and said go your house when she asked me whr we going . and he went up th escalator and gave that eerie disgusting fcked up face . TARTS !
idk why , but i just hated his smile i went up to look for him to scold th living shit outta him (lol , im capable of no such thing , just saying out of fury ) but i lost him anw .
he is a flea that lives in the excretement of maggots(sorry maggot ;D) that lives in th excretements of sheeps and goats and cows and toads and dogs for all i know .
lol.

tahts all thats eventful i guess (?)
anw went home had tuition . ignored my sis .
not on speaking terms w her .
beyotch !@#$%^&*!
that itchy bitty batty squirt .

grace counselled me on something i shall not say here .
HAHA . thats for me to know and for you to find out . TEEHEE
she's th best [=

went for lab replacement after that .
saw jeng and his badmtn friends .
i totally didnt see him at first . only th tall giant that im assuming is daniel (?) and zhi png and jun jie . then i looked around and someone called him anw and yeah he was probably trying to not say hello . lol *laughs*
but i hurried on anw . was gonna be late .
missed physics class at edugreen .
had replacement in paris this time .
th place is like some solar plant . so bleddy bright and luminous .
whats th word , luminous intensity ?? haha

it was damnright intense alright . and th corridoor was covered in mirrors .
frightening stuff . you can see your total imperfect self in th bright room full of mirrors .
not my stuff .
i will tear down th place if i shall have to walk through there again .

th work was fine .
i went home myself .
cyrus looks good now . (not that he knows me) he almost slammed th backdoor in my face . but he did leave it open . well thanks , pal ?

my dinner left for me was subway (EAT FRESH EAT FRESH ! )
i dont know who went to put salami when i asked for turkey hams !!
i ate salami , well peperoni , well salami ! pizza on sunday already .
anw , th prosperity of th lunchtime BEEFEENESS hadnt left me so gonna save it for breakfast . YEEEHA .

ok i wrote practically every single detail of my day .
tmrw better be a better day .
YEAH.

goodnight ;D

P.S. i just found out that heyong has a sectum , or spectum , or spectrum ?!
jesus i dont know what its real;ly called but its th bull-ish ring between th nostrils .
i swear i almost fainted when i saw her pic /.
well she's mighty wild , but i guess still a good girl ;D
well JOIN TH CLUB ! X}

P.P.S. olevels results out tdy . hope they are good .

TATAS ! later !
pics uploading tmrw !! :D

2009-01-05T02:31:00.000-08:00

hello again .

those was ytd's pics .

we were supposed t go to the jurong bird park . (BIRDS!)

then , they said nono , go to the zoo ,

then nono , go to the esplanade but in th end it was kinda late so we just went to clarke quay for dinner-.-

lol .

oh yeah , i bought a plastic snake . and two monster finger puppets . the snake's called skipper .

i do sound to old for this do i . lol

today , well it kinda rocked . in th morning only cos i had extra sleep .

school starts at 8.30 on mondays from this year onwards .

maybe ill send a letter of appreciation to the school commitee or whoever came up w this brilliant plan .

lol but i was still freaking early anw .

reached at 7.30 .

and freaking climbed 4 flights of stairs . i almost went back to the 2nd floor until ting rui shouted at me to come back . sigh

and ive got this weird impression im in 3/1 . i dont quite believe im in 3/2 .

roflol . im so full of crap .

anw , no assembly , yeeaah X}

ms tay was on leave today , sick i suppose .

so mr vincent voo came in . vi voo va voom . haha sounds so ryhmy .

and then maggot sim was late . BAHA!

school start at 8.30 also can late . pro . haha

anw , poor stuff , she had to climb th 4 flights of stairs zillion times .

cos mr V said she was late , so gotta go get th green slip *laughs*

she was damn pissed . lol then she go down , come up to take again to take ez link card

then was given detention appointment . sweet ;D

haha.

first lesson of th day , maths . maths maths !

it wasnt that bad .

maybe cos we havent started on A maths .

well , i love this tr .

i actually think im gonna be able to pass my maths after all .

Emaths . not th A .

chinese sucked big time .

i had no idea what ye lao shiiii was trying to say ( i call her leafie)

anw , she made us write on this huge paper our ambitions/hopes/resolutions for th new year .

me , sebatian , sherlyn wrote ; want to grow taller .

haha (naturally)

well i also said want to go on th UK trip . this june . so must get L1R5 , 15 or below (gawwwd)

and i accidentally wrote ying guo , as fa guo .(france) ==

afetr recess was chem , SSRP ! greatness .

joanna came over and i taught sherlyn and her korean and italian . alittle of this and that .

lol . i know what some are thinking .

i cant even speak properly .

haha but nverm . sher was very interested in only learning th vulgar and bad stuff . lol

damn hilarious .

well hopefully , i will try to learn some to talk to the new korean dude in 3/3 . lol

SS.

Z. i was practically nodding off .

bored to tears .

only heard th part abt ghandi encouraging indians not to wear pants but dhotis. mhm

oh and some idiots at th back kept putting th pins to form fuck big , bold , colourfuuuul and so freaking visible on th black board behind.

gawd , BIO .

someone , do sth !

we had a so called sub teacher . she's gonna be here for 4 mths cos our actual tr , mrs veda is on maternaty (is tt how you spell it ?) leave .

well , this ms lee , she's pretty alright i guess except for th irritating fact that she has this small bunch of strands of hair that is longer than the rest of her ponytail .

i had a strong urge to snip it off . vanny was laughing her head off too .

thats not all , ms lee kept rolling her eyes whenever she turned back to us from th whiteboard .

trust me , it gets kinda scary .

then she's extreeeeeeeeeeeeeemely chirpy , bouncy .

now , thats freakier .

haha . she said we couldnt draw arrows for diagrams . just straight lines . mhmm. hmph

we did on animal cells anw . gosh . th names are effin longish and chimmmmish .

murder me .

school ended at 2.15 ):

tired . beat . pooped .

sherlyn went for detention .

i went off to bugis to collect sth w becca .

and then came home for tuition w grace .

7.30 , chem class .

@.@

p.s. now that we are on th 4th floor , i was under th impression that the air would be loads fresher or some crap like that , but instead , its just effing hot up there . the sun hits you so bad , youy sweat like a melting icecap like vanny says i do . totally .

someone go get curtains !

p.p.s aaron and i wrote a really crapp stories abt bungy jumps , floods , rotten veggies and bloated peeps .

maybe i'll publish it someday . but ill doubt anyone will want to even read it . HAHA .

its just for crapp entertainment . to laugh yourself stupid .

p.p.p.s ignore th extra tagboard .

2009-01-03T23:57:00.000-08:00

TREE HUGGER HIPPIES !

haha hi guys im finally back afetr what seemed like a thousand year long sleep . was just really lazy to update . (naturally) so my blog's missing quite a lot of stuff-o . bummer -.- but ill try to update every once in a while . not become like some blog rot slob. *laughs*

well just to write a few things before i go out again . my cousin came from korea last night .arrived at 10 and we waited for freaking long cos th flight was delayed . well he looks th same still . so freaking skinny ! only 45 kg and 164cm . goodness thats anorexic. it'll be my job to beefen or fatten him up whatever you like . haha . anw , cant talk mucho to him cos my korean stinks like dung . but he cant speak much english too . so mhmm . wish me luck . he's 13 this year and i was kinda sad ji hoon , the younger bro couldnt come cos i find him so cute . lol ok i shall not be so biased . haha

anw , moving on to today . woke up kinda early considering th fact i slept at 4 . *grins* went reservoir walk (its a sunday morning thing) with cookie and well my parents bought him shoes . its kinda ridiculous really . he can barely walk in it , let alone run . HAHA he looks hilarious . couldnt take a video cos my cam batt was flat but i will some time . in th end we took off the shoes cos it was torturing him . rofl

lunch , sushi tei . well , this is my dad's breakthorugh year . he has finally given sushi a chance and loves it now . weird huh . the first time he ate sushi was on new years , 2009 . second time today . BAHA ! but he is still kinda disgusted at th thought of eating unagi (eel)

mhm , thats abt it for now , gotta run . ive got someplace i gotta be . havent decided where we're going yet . its kinda late too . haha update later w pics ! ;D

p.s. this is late but happy new year ducks ! VIVA 2009 . love .

p.p.s. i went in th guys toilet by accident today and it took me a total of 5 seconds to reealise . it just hit me in th face like WHAM . im such a bird . gonzo . bozo .

peace !

2008-12-14T00:10:00.000-08:00

nothing worth writing about but still....

upset and annoyed.

just really sad seeing as how yesterday i cut my hair .

my fringe actually . bangs . well screw them bangs cos it looks so shitty .

i just look really clumsy and a total country bumpkin.

country duck as my mum loves t call .

actually because im fat , i look like a cross between a pumpkin and a BK stacker. bold brave or ballsy. take your pick .

not exaggerating . i dont sound like im kidding do i.

well . i'm stressed cos school starts in three weeks and hell no am i going back like this !

sigh pointless being angry . but i feel so .

i begged my dad to let me shave my head botak so i can regrow everything cos its so

screwed anyway , th colour tones all mixed up cos i dyed it last december and cropped and chopped and butchered my hair as th months went by and now , end product . this .

monstrosity .

i suggested wearing a nice wig . a wig , yes until it grows out .

(and not cutting it till it reaches my elbow)

but of course he said no , im not going to try my luck at becoming th next britney .

so fine , be that way .

i knew it was a crazy idea and my parents ''go by the book'' so i wasnt hoping for anything really.

just in desperation i guess . hmph .

so dear friends , ill really appreciate it if you dont scold or tell me what an idiot i was to cut my fringe , cos i alr know that .

call me a fug , pug , or pumpkin , whatever you do , dont tell me it sucks . ill get madder .

being reminded over and over is like being hit in th face again and again . and . i . dont . like . that .

SIGH !

anyway ,

we brought cookie for grooming too and now he's lost all his fur , botak dog *envy*

he's quite ugly now actually and he knows it too. he whined alot after the shave and i cant blame him ,his fur was his pride . and made him look plump and cute . now he's just skinny and sad. and so am i . two peas in a pod . excellent .

wait im the sad part not th skinny . *laughs*

and well yeah ive been pmsing really bad th past two days .

i threw alot of tantrums , stupid ones .

much to th annoyance of my family . sigh .

first , yesterday i got pissed when my dad called and asked me to come down to centrepoint by train . w my sis .

pissed because my mum and dad have a car , they spend all afternn thr , and when they decide its time for dinner they call me to come down .

on normal occasions i would have not gotten angry .

and then when we reached thr , we ate at crystal jade , th korean one cos my dad doesnt like chinese food and i got really pissed because throughout th whole time thr , those waitresses kept saying hello in korean repeatedly , shrilly loudly and whenever a customer came really . it will just ring out through th whole restaurant every 10 mins . and every other 10 mins , bye bye bye bye ! they will just shout , voices popping out of nowhere .

on a normal day i would have found it cute , but ytd no .

and then i got really pissed cos i asked some ppl about info about sth , and well the first one didnt know , so fine , the second one was too busy to tell me fine . the third one hasnt bothered t reply my msg at all . i dont want to care . maybe i shouldnt go in th first place . ill just feel akward and out of place .i really like some of them , but i can tell some dont like me . and i know when im not wanted . so i wont make a fool of myself by getting involved . anw , the last time i agreed t go to sth like this , i had one of the worst times of my life , although good times too . and i dont want to go through that crap again and well , thr s no link between tt time and this time but to me i feel better to stay away . wont want there to be bad memories or stinking regrets . not like last time .

some things are best kept quiet .

.my road to recovery , bumpy , waiting , becoming , being & finally living .

i dont want to give up on that possibilty . and i know it'll be for real someday .

but its so hard to keep your head when its all over the place like now .

i had what i'd call a relapse today and yesterday and it was triggered by anger and bruised ego , crushed esteem , all , just by one look in th mirror .

i hate it .

i see something i dont like and blame it on th next person for not telling me th truth .

i see something that disturbs me so much and i just throw aside what ive kept going for weeks ,

and lose all . losing my religion ....

losing my religion , losing what i believed in , what i believed would come out of it if i kept going , not pausing to think about why it isnt working , that it'll get better .

it did get better , but it did get worse , now , its worse ,

i let my fears anger wash over me , i gave in and now i feel worse than ever .

i feel sad for myself .

wasted .

and i feel like just giving up .

i dont feel like i belong anywhere .

i feel tired of acting .

i feel envious of those who arent bothered and are happy instead .

i feel so irritated i have inflicted self pity upon myself .

worse than anything else , i feel so alone and frightened and lost .

i feel alone .

i want reassuarance , i want hope , i want to see that beacon of light in th middle of th dark tunnel of never ending horrors and worries drowning me , suffocating me .

i want t cry and scream and hit all those who have left me , laughed at me , spit in my eye .

i want them to take it all back .

if it werent for them , i'd never be like this .

who i am wants to be what i'd been .

now i can only wait and pray hard and hope that this will all slowly some to an end and

that i'll start to pick myself up slowly , and in this process , become a stronger , better person .

ive got no one . im th only chance i'll ever have .

im giving myself one last chance , ive got to get better and find myself again .

because ive got a future to live for .

why arent th happy pills working .

2008-12-11T22:58:00.000-08:00

looks real . feels real . aint real .

farah's on th left , sarah's on th right . right . mm.

real or not , i swear i ate it whole right after that shot .

sweet and fiery .

my calzone , before it was attacked .

SAM .

big balloony structure . and . me . in case youve got it all wrong ,

for once , im not th big balloony structure . teehee .

family pic . giulia's sulky face . she was sulking cos my mum

turned off th telly and we were watching heroes .

i look grande compared t the rest . goodness .

dont tell me . haha

teenie weenie cake . w 5+1 candles .

mumsy , daddy . or papa and om-ma :}

hey ya'll ,

yes ive been MIAing for lots of stuff , from trgs, to blogging to blahs.

HA , its just plain laziness , and pigginess ,

as sweet lil maggot said so in ''my'' last post .

thanks pal , youre such a darling . th greatest . for saying such stuff . not

i'm a total bum bum bummer ;D

haha alright jokes aside .

moving on to whats been happening , buzz buzz .

and since i can't cram whats been happening th past few weeks in one post , i'll write abit of this and that . sweet .

well , for starters .

it was my dear daddy's birthday yesterday ,

and ive been saying he's an old man now , at 51 , (much to the anger of my sis who hates it when i tell my parents they are getting old ) well sista , gotta face reality . haha , yeah , my dad may be 51 , have a crown of grey and white , and goes into frequent talks of th (back in my time , or you know th good ol' days ) , but he is no old geezer and lumber bear with a roly poly biggie pot beer belly . well , all im trying to say , youre a great dad , and happy birthday , well belated in this post of course .

so we had th usual quiet celebrations .

no popping of champagne or whatever so fanciful .

went to trattoria lafiandra , near SAM .

and had a nice dinner where embarrasingly , i had an outburst when my mother attempted to poke my calzone (folded up pizza) and it almost deflated before i snatched th fork out of her hand . it was hilarious actually .

couldnt get th really nice seats cos they were all reserved and we hadnt made reservations .

after all that eating , hanged around outside th SAM for ae while , there was this

really huge twisted balloon on display .

then we went to buy his cake ,

we didnt buy an ice cream cake this time *sniff*

went to prima deli to just get a small cake cos we didnt want any left overs ,

my sis chose th cookies and cream one , i was rooting for choc fudge or th belgian mousse thingamagy. z . and well my sis won . and i thought it was my dad's birthday .

my dad wasnt really bothered really . he wanted tiramisu . go figure ;D

bought it and we were stuck in th parking lot for almost an hour as my dad wouldnt budge cos he got a call from zio pippo and they talked for very long . so giulia and my mum drove off first then i waited in the car w my dad listening t him talk .

good to hear that my grandma's health is good , just that her mind isn't which is sad but has been ever since my grandpa passed .

reached home and had the cake

well my mum hated it .

big surprise . +.+

she's a very strong critic when it comes to food *tsktsk* haha

my dad found it ok and i well i always eat whatever im given right-o ?

haha i sure do .

i wondered what my dad wished for before blowing out th candles .

he's not telling . no one ever does .

i can remember my wish .

i didnt get it because i gave up on that wish .

it turns out it wasnt really what i wanted in th end .

and in case youre wondering , its nth to do w a boy .

im not that dimwitted to waste my once a year birthday wishes on a boy. *smirks*

still im not telling . shh . *laughs*

anw , way before that nice sweet evening w my family ,

i went to see my doc , ive got three , guess which haha . and then

went to sherlyn maggot sim's house cos we were bored to tears .

and oh yes before i do forget , i went for trg *claps* in th morning for th first time since , mhmm , god knows when .

and to punish myself i ran more rounds w jam . haha *huffhuff*

it was really slack . greatness. ;D

anw back to maggot sim's house .

i brought my cam and we took pictures of sarah and farah .

oh well , ive given up scrunching up my nose everytime i see them .

i guess ive finally accepted the fact that i have a 5 year old friend namely , sherlyn , who loves dolls .

yeah , she's 5 not 14 . believe me .

i saw her talk to sarah and i was like explain yourself . but there's no need to . she's 5 . its a 5 year old kid's thing . cute .

so .....

i played w them .

but i do believe im still 14 .

rofl .

oh yeah and as mentioned , i DID show her a video of myself hiccoughing .

i know you think ive lost it . but really , have you guys ever wondered how schtupid you might look when you hiccough ?

i look mental . you should try standing in front of a mirror and hiccough .

its wicked . roflol X}

well thats it abt it .

as for other stuff , grace called 2 days ago , she came back from israel with gen and audrey . and she'll be coming over tomorrow first thing in th morning . 9. dayum , ive gotta go finish all th work she set me 3 weeks ago .

and oh yeeehah , i havent freaking bought my schoolbooks .

i heard home delivery closes today .

i think ill just go buy them from school and lug them home .

and yeap , vanny's flew off to japan at the start of this week .

wanted t meet up w her , but had no time so when she's back we shall all go meet up w her .

caifang flew to HK too . well safe trip and yeah ENJOY .

well , thats about it :}

p.s. late news but those who have been wondering what quantum of solace is , its a required peace of mind . between couples or a relationship of some sort or suuumthing like that .

crap , im no good at this right , explaining stuff . well , thats what i learnt at lab anw .

peace ! ;D

2008-12-11T01:45:00.000-08:00

hihihihi
sherlyn here [: serena's beside me now eh.
she's playing with my sarah now. LOL
serena came to my house earlier cuz i was feeling damn bored, & rotting @ home =.=
she showed me some video of herself hicupping ! ;d
YES, SHE TOTALLY LOOK LIKE RETARD I SWEAR.

she's such a lazy pig :x cuz she dosent wanna blog for days .
so, the kind and nice sherlyn is here posting for her :D

serena here : -.-
sherlyn: sucks you [:

byebyebyebye.

2008-11-30T22:34:00.000-08:00

hello , ive ditched my blog for a couple of days , okay fine for 2 plus weeks but im kinda lazy at th mo , so maybe i'll blog later or tmrw, see if my mood permits . lol anw , just dropping in to post this quiz that ive been tagged by dear huiting to do . haha , imma total bum but i like doing quizzes .

1.what have you been doing recently?
sleeping , binging , sleeping , binging and more sleeping !

2.if you dont have money what will you do ?
go wash cars for everyone in my estate and charge a good solid fee of $15 for th mini coopers,
$30 for th hybrids , and $50 for th BMs and merc . oh and walk dogs or sth like that .

3.if you want to die , who would you want to die with ?
wouldnt wanna bring anyone down with me .

4.what time did you wake up ?
7am . first day of art course today .

5.do you need a boyfriend to support you ?
nah.

6.who is your really bestfriend?
dont have one . nada . zilch .

7.now who are you talking to ?
johnny from next door.

8.now what do you feel like doing ?
mhmm, going on a rollercoaster ride.

9.would you like a new life?
ah, thats a good question. :}

10.is your friendship complicated ?
nope .

11.do you like your parents ?
sure do . unconditional love .

12.who are your best people ?
kukutribe , maggot , caifang , my dawg , for were , Sarah & titi

13.who do you hate ?
that , my dear friends , is for me to know , and for you to find out . *smirks*

14.do you hate the person who loves you ?
and who might that be ?

15.now would you like t go out ?
just got back but why not if ive got invites then yeee-ha ! yeah .

and yeah , 10 people ive tagged t do ,

1.joanna
2.sherlyn
3.xinghui
4.enqi
5.chiachin
6.vannyssa
7.rebecca
8.huimin
9.caroline
10.shimin

if anyone listed up thr doesnt feel like doing , im cool w it . but i'd rather you did th darn quiz !
HAHA . ok later guys.

p.s. johnny does not exist . that was out of pure randomness . lol

2008-11-14T04:20:00.000-08:00

hello yello .

today i could have have stayed under th covers till lunchtime if it wasnt for my mum who kept yelling at me t get up cos giulia was gonna have tuition in 5 minutes .
and so i jumped out of bed at 9 but in th end th teacher came at 12 .
my mum told me a whopper just to get me out of bed and i was annoyed cos i was planning to sleep in th whole morning . i made a mental note to not fall for such tricks in future . lol

her new teacher is really cool anw , though i find her kindof like a dyke . she gave her an alex rider gizmo book explaining all th different gadgets used in his missions for M16 , which ive completed all series , and i bet he is hotter then james bond anw . lol . sad how i never get such cool presents . speaking of which ,, i was thinking of begging my parents to get me a lava lamp or a skateboard or , a trampoline *BOING!* since they wont buy me my own notebook . ive got to earn tt one . giulia wants a telescope . go figure . rofl , but i think tts pretty cool too though im not into astrology or astronomy . idk which is which really ,

lunch was disgusting cos today , my mum asked matto to blend celery and parsley and beetroot into th juice which i amazingly finished all by clipping my nose , and drinking it in . gross . dont. ever. try. that. i guess t my mum we're like guinea pigs in a lab experiment and she's like making us drink all th weird stuff she asks to be put in our juices . thats ''animal-human'' abuse . anw , its just a crime what she does to supposedly healthy fruit juices . grosstuff .

after lunch maggotsim called me in distress talking abt stuff that was bothering her and told me abt her abnormal mood swings at trg this morning , and well she asked me to come over and yeah , i decided to give her th time of th day , *laughs* since i was quite free though my initial plan was to complete alphabet of dreams cos its due sat , which is tmrw . but i decided t go anw . she was a damsel in distress . lol only i was a friend to go check on her not a knight in shining armour or bleh . haha

and nope , i didnt cycle thr this time .
i bused thr and enqi asked if she could come over to my house cos she didnt wanna go bowling with her friends which was weird cos bowling is FUN ! but nvm . couldnt reply her cos my phone no more $$$ . saddening . so i took 851 and it was a new very new bus , with a huge uglae merce logo on its front and smelt of new car smells , leathery smells and all . and right at th second last row , i spotted this really hawt guy , *swoon* my hot guy radar must have picked his prescence up cos it was crowded but i managed t spot him . i am talking abt him cos ive never seen anything like him . he doesnt look local , doesnt look angmoh , idk what he looked like , but he is so crushworthy . i got the hots for him right there and then , and i know its only a one day thing which is sad but sigh , dont remind me . lol . he looked nth like most guys . and his hair was tousled in a nice messy kind of way . nice :D he's like just nice muscular and he wasnt that tall , just avg , but his looks covered up for everything . and i could tell he just came from trg . i sat right behind him and tried not to look to long at th back of his head . i am pathetic . someone tell me t get a grip . and he looks like his in JC . and prob has a hot gf , so tough break for me , but life goes on . rofl
after he left , i had th urge t wave bye , but stopped myself before i made myself look like some freakshow on a public NEW bus . a bunch of AJC guys came on but they were nth like hothunk . i finally got down at sher's stop and it was alr raining . *drizzledrizzle* and there was a handsome american dude w another guy which looked handsome too in a gayish kind of way but was nth like hothunk . ROARRRR! rawr.

went up to meet maggot and we talked abt school , training , dreams , and hothunk , and other stuff . telling grandmother tales . oh yeah , i did see sarah and farah too , they were th first thing i saw when i entered . i cooed over them like they were real babies . dont worry , come to think of it i am disgusted by myself too . but im starting to accept them . they are not too bad i guess . just dolls . sigh

we went down for icecream and as usual sherlyn made a mess , we were sitting in th clubhouse and i counted like i think 6 drips on th floor from th melting icecream , plus she spilled some on her clothes . and she just laughed . shameless . roflolol !
went to eat dinner at 4.30 at th clubhouse cafe , and yes , you know how i ate but i tried to watch my eating . lol but haha , what do you know .
sher made a mess again too . its not cute when she makes a mess trust me . but im used to it . i think ill buy a bib for her for christmas . im sure it'll come in handy :D

played volleyball after that cos th swings were occupied and i didnt dare to act like some big playground bully to get th ppl swinging to get off . ive got th size and mean look for one , but not th guts . TEEHEE .

we tried playing rally and sher kept wanting to make me go for digs , like making me fall . cos thats what she did for trg today but i didnt dare to fall so willingly . i mean who will ? haha i got pretty sloshed too cos th grass nearby was muddy , and almost like a marsh and i stepped on it w my barefeet but after you get used t it , its alright . lol .
after a really cheated , broken rally of 25 , we went up and it was time for me to go home anw .

bused back and reached at 7 plus , no one home except matto and she said noone was coming home for dinner so i sneaked t the market w her and yeah after what happened ytd , i rmbered not to sit at th stalls nearby that area where you knw , i didnt eat cos i alr ate , surprisesurprise but i am trying to stop myself . (ty CF) and i treat her to nasi briyani and it cost 4 bucks . like wth . and she said its not even nice . ungrateful . lol , and the guy gave her 1$ brunei note and i have no idea if you can use that in SG but i didnt want it . it just looked so foreign to me to be used and i went back and asked for S$ , and i argued for 3mins plus just beacuse of that , im really stubborn . i know that , stubbon mule . and now im thinking , everytime i go thr will i have to cause a scene or raise a stink ? lol such luck .

and now im home , noone's back yet , and my dog's growling at th window which is getting me pretty freaked but i guess its a dog thing . gonna go read my book now .

and P.S , to those that msged me and i didnt reply , sorry , replis will be late cos phone yup , no $ , got go get my card .

and before i forget , attention all dudes and dudettes , on rebecca lee li zhen 's behalf im telling you that if you want to go for her bbq at her hs , (ask her for theee add , ) , pls let her know . i mean if youre interested . ok thats all . no more advertisements ! ;D

toodles !

2008-11-13T02:22:00.000-08:00

i think i woke up on th wrong side of bed today .

only that doesnt really make sense cos one side of my bed's facing th wall and th other's th only way to get out of bed. lol , but still......

i stayed up th whole night reading vampire kisses . yeah like wth , but i had to cos i wanna borrow more books so im stuffing myself day in day out .
serena+books . geekfreak ., wtv.

slept at 4 and twisted knobs on 3 alarm clocks for fear of not getting up in time to pass stuff t this extremenessnessness fag , his royale dawgness ,. well im saying tt cos im bleddy pissed cos this morning he made me feel like a pageboy , or wtv you call errandboys , these days.
woke up at 6, feeling so beated , pooped ? sighsighsigh!
and yeah cos i was running late cos i was scared someonE! would miss th flight , instead of waiting for th buses to chug down lazily through super deserted roads whr i could flagged one , get on & play king of thee bus , i took my trusty ol' bike , though (i'd only known it for 3 weeks ), and cycled th crapp outta me when i went uphill st nicks hillyhill , and oh boy , did it start t pour , drop by drop then thunderous , and got sloshed in mud and morning dew (if thats what you call it ) and theese blades of grass where like stuck onto my legs . and yeah , mudmarks . but i enjoyed th adrenaline rush anw , leave out th part whr i had to break for not clashing into an old man /.
well , i reached and waited downstairs for really long , wasting my msgs informing i was here and to come down cos no way i was going up w th bike . and no replies . not one . and , my phone only had 38cents left . i was alr getting impatient cos my mum was starting to call and yeah i knew what was coming if i pickd up th call , so horrid as i am , i put it on silent and told myself t pretend i nvr saw that and she'll stop . but what do you know , i got a total of 6 missedcalls .
i pushed my heavy bike up th impossible stairs . and ive beeeen telling myself to get a lock but i havent so there . i'd say i hiked up a couple of floors cos my bike was too huge t fit th crummy lift . fatbike , or maybe i was th one taking up most of th space . rofl .HAHA , most would like to think tt way . lol
okay , but at that time , it was no funjoke . i was soaked in sweat , rain , dew , mud . a big mess.
i was just outside th door and i msged again , NO REPLY .
after an eternity of 3o++++++ mintues , th mom came out maybe i stinked so she came out t look . gawd , idk ! and she looked like a nice person so i just gave evrything to her and got the hell out of thr quick cos i was alr getting my eight call from my mum .

and no reply , no thanks , no nth .
typical in fact .
i did this all , as a friend doing a favour for another friend , expecting nth in return .
but you could have at least said smth ? like im going alr , and whr cos my things are W you .
but no , nth . NADA .
IHATEYOU .
thr and then !!

things got no better when i got home .
called my mum to explain stuff , and yeah cleared up things w her .
and she said if i were t disappear just like tt at such random timings , my bike will disappear for good. for good . hear that duck ?!
no Ds for you .

then she made me go to th market w her in this miserable morning weather .
and she brought a kettle along , *FAINT!* to fill w soyabean at theeeee! market .
and i had to carry th big ugly umbrello which was an ugly yellow , th colour of muck .
she dragged me everywhere . and at th seafood sec , i almost fell into a sloppery bucket on th sloppery floor when a row of fishes , god knows what breed , were still breathing , gills straining and all . and one just suddenly flipped and flapped ! terrifying . =_______________='' !!

and when we were gonna leave i realised phone wasnt w me and yeah i knew then i screwd up big time . esp when i went back to th soyabean uncle and he said one of th cleaners might have taken it cos it was on th table . so i Qsned 3 . and they kept telling me to ask th ''ya-ba'' . mute . thats what you call your colleagues , shame on you guys .
but yeah i could see why . he's so corrupted .
my mum and i asked him for th phone using a mixture of chinese , english , sign lang .
and yeah he ''said'' he had it . in his pocket .
but he demanded tt we give him 5 bucks t get it back .
and knowing my mum , well , I KNOW my mum ,
she talking so rapidly in english asking him for th phone bck and saying , no , no 5 bucks .
evryone started looking . we were causing a scene and it was right thr and then i wish i was nvr born !!
and i got so fed up , i didnt know who i wanted t scream at more , mum or th guy .
so i just told her she could cut my allowance and give th damn $$ t th guy and i told her to stop talking so much cos he didnt even get english . and she was like starting to threaten to call th police . and i pitied th guy coshe's prob despo for $$ and all , but hell . thats my phone !
then my mum started complaining to th bull frog porridge stall owner and im like , sheesh==
i dont know how it ended , th silly feud ! my mum got th phone back eventually and out of pity? gave onebuck. *HUGESIGH!*

and thats how th tragic morning ends .

and i was so peeved i went home losked myself in my room and slept until 12 .
the rest of th day was glum-NESS .
just idk , tuition and reading books with musty smells .

i dont feel bored . i feel like a really boring person . SIGH!

tired . gonna sleep . but i'll make a call first . ==

bon voyage J , you suck .

TATAS !

2008-11-10T03:01:00.000-08:00

here's th real fishlips . mick jagger and maybe , th fugly batfish . get a load of this ! HAHA!

jeez , i deleted my tagboard by accident .
a new one's up w a really uglae-dont-match-the-background colour .
but im lazy .
time after time , my all time fav song , will never get sick of it , my fav version done by quietdrive. not th original cindy lauper .

and yeah my fav track of th week from QOS. haha

love it .

anyone getting tickets t the verve concert ?

bittersweetsymphony! *GRINS!*

:D

another thin g, ive come to have a liking for petroleum smell . not healthy i know .
am i like weird or sth ?

HAHA .

2008-11-09T23:14:00.000-08:00

'sup! im BIA yawlz!

havent touched th com since forever cos my sis was put on a ban during her exam period nd that affected me cos i depend on her for acccess t the com .
thats how third world i am .
no teeevee , no com , nada . zilch .
and they say this life is over-rated .
drool --

anw , shooo that aside , here's some breaking newsbefore i talk abt my week .

my house is not safe anymore !
ohhell , it sure isnt !!

well , they put up a notice downstairs stating that a cobrasnake , 50cm was spotted around T1-T4 . and tt's like the whole place ! tt freaking freaked th living freaklights out of me !
and now , i live in casa horrifico . sigh .
the only comforting thought is tht it wont be able to eat or should i say swallow me whole cos i'm way to large on it's dietscale . and it'll probably get a spasm , suffer from a roaring stomach ache
and some serious bowel disfunctionalism , wtv tts supposed t mean . HAHA
ive banned my dog from nightwalks anw , cos th last time i heard , a jackrussell got swallowed whole by a python . how unruly . D:
for th moment , im keeping my eyes on th ground everytime i walk and lol , i sometimes hop abt for no reason cos i think too much thinking thrs a snake nearby on th loose .
and just ytd , i developed th habit of looking up at th trees thinkin it might start raining snakes . i think im needing therapy . period . to cool my nerves . lol
huuuurup . *rattle!!*

enough of snakes . gross beings .

moving on , think me bookish but ive been reading alot since last week and now that th lib is extending our loans , ive borrowed a heap .

labour of love
alphabet of dreams
luna;a novel
scrambled eggs at midnight
egghead;a novel
disguised;a wartime memoir
call me maria
razzle
unexpected development
freak

so far ive cleared labour of love , freak , luna , disguised & unexpected development . im currently juggling scrambled eggs at midnight and egghead . yeah eggish , sure but theyre two diff books . i dont mash both stories up though . just reading as much as poss. haha .

my fav is luna & disguised .

luna's abt this girl , regan , who has a bro called liam , whos really luna by night . cos she's a transgender , and only dares to reveal herself at night dressing up , putting makeup doing girltalk w regan . its sad and new stuff , foe well , me . cos i know nuthink abt trans , but liam's not gay , he's just a girl stuck in a guy's body and th books abt his fight to break free and show ''her'' true self and gain acceptance from other peeps , who are kinda insensitive , but regan , pressured , is her ''pillar of strength'' and stands by her , through incessant taunts and hardships . thrs more but im lazy to say . thrs a good ending anw , he , or she , luna or liam , leaves home and goes out to correct his gender disorder to become a happier person and unveil her true identity.

disguised is abt a girl who's of dutch-indonesian heritage , rita la fontaine , she was twelve during th time th jap occupation took place . and because of tt her parents decided to give her a makeover to disguise her as a boy to prevent th japs from taking her away to become a ''comfort woman'' and it works . she actually , as a guy , manages to gain th respect&trust of th jap officers to do paperwork in th office like a pageboy kinda thing . she's called rick as a guy . talks abt her life during th war . coolstuff.

unexpected development is a really not-worth your time reading book but so what . HAHA . lol well th girl , megan , she has huge boobs and is depressed cos she claims that guys only want to go out w her for one reason , well no , make that two , rofl , if you got th joke . what a saddo anw .then she has plans to use her summerjob pay savings to either pay of her college tuition fees or go for a boob reduction job . wowzers . like go figure . hoho

then well i'll cut most of th parts , here's abt th only thing i really gained from reading that book , gawd . twenty different words for breasts .

bongos , boobs , cantaloupes , chi-chis , grapefruits , headlights , highbeams , himalayas , honkers , hooters , jugs , marangas , melons , mountains , ta-tas , taters , tits , tomatoes , watermelons and finally yams .

and hey , theyre all in good alphabetical order . hardeeharhar.

boobies.no biggie really .

the rest of my week was spent on movies and cycling and yeah , eating .

quantum of solace
coffin
lakeview terrace
HSM3

th 007 movie , i watched it twice , once with some ghees and chicas and another time w my family . lol th beginning was kinda droney but i liked th song anw , gonna dl it . the bond girls , ms fields , she looks so easy , if you get what i mean & camille , well she's quite hot . hmph . chill , im not jealous . HAHA.

coffin , well need i say more ,

lakeview terrace , ive only got one thing to say, th cop's a real fag ,if i could , i so would have given him a goodkick up th i cant say whr . he's worse than my sis . lol i know its a movie but truly ! haha , sigh .

moving on ,,

weve been streamed and weve got th results , im in 3/2 , pure chem and i chose ss history . well , i got a rough picture of th new classmates ill be having , and hope no one eliminates me just yet . hoho .i may be a spaz at times , but im nice ;D lol , self praise . that cant be good , haha but i am screaming original and a good citizen . you'll love me ! ;D haha and for th good ol' buddies who are in 3/2 and will be stuck w me for another 2 years , well hello ! ;D seeya and here's another thing . 19 guys roughly , what a leap from th 8 guys i shared a whiteboard and duster w for two wholey years . lol miss ya'll 2/1 . but everythin needs a change .

change , ,,, and since we're on ze topic of change , well im writing only now and its slow news coming from me but obama won th elections and is now officially th most powerful dude in all of th U.S. of A .which is a goodthing , though it didnt brinmg tears t my eyes cos im no americano.but yayness . well as for th poor old geezer , john mccain , he musnt be feeling too popular at the moment . lol . which is a relief , he's not president cos his , would be succesor if he dies(well he is looking shaky at th mo), sarah palin is a total warphead .''th diff between a pitbull and a hockeymum ,, -- lipstick '' like whats that even supposed to mean . thats just so insanelycrappy. then thr's how everyone jokes abt , ''and i can see russia from my house !'' sure , afterall she does live in alaska . roflol . well my point is , she's just sad in politics . she doesnt even know whats th bush doctorine and neither do i , but she was running for VP not me . lol but th party's over anw . viva B.obama , th first african-amrican t make hist as president .

wow what A rant . X}

okay thats about as far as i go for this post , or i'll jam my fingers or get spasms from typing , which ive been talking abt evrything way too much . but nvm since i havent blogged for days . whoever bothered t read up until this far , well , im touched , *snorts* no really i am . its good to know someone cares to hear my rantings and its good to yak abt a really stuffed week .

p.s. , as to why i dint go for trg today , well , sorry guys i overslept . big surprise hurh , but pigs have a tendency t sleep more than required . esp slacker ones like me . haha and when i woke up thr was 3o mins left till th end of trg , so i just went back to snooze mode . Z

p.p.s. im really peeved . twillight's NC16. now im gonna miss my movie on th bigscreen.sigh==

p.p.p.s i miss that ghee already , th babe who went overseas . come back soon ! ;D

anw , TATAS!!

2008-11-02T01:12:00.000-07:00

hichichic. HIC.
im having th hiccups and im not having th time of my life .
put those two together you get yourself a nice hardened solidified fossilised petierfied pot of oatmeal.
get it ?
i dont . no i do not getit . in fact it sounds kinda like fogged up bullshitsits to me .
but when youre funny upset , you'll be excused ( so pardon me , l-o-l) .
im kinda in a strange mood which even i dont know how to handle myself.
but im hoping i'll live

put all th trash talk aside ,
my life th past few days ,
well , i'd say ive been in delirious states , w a double big D .
ive been thinking alot and sorting out my mind , but it gets confusing at times
and you end up getting tangled up in all th wrong spots and feel like theres no way out .
haha , here's one word to make yall understand tt better ,
i , I . screwed up bigtime .
w myself . what a saddo. rofl laughlaughlaugh. HAHA.
i did have several weird talks with myself .
and hey-soos. thats spania , spanish for jesus , jesu.
don't tell me .
ive had plenty mindbattles too . so raging , so firing in that thick skull of mine ,
which really wasn't th empty vessel i thought it to be .
and guess what, i even talked to my , mum .
she's no chica but she'll do .
thats kinda unusual for me . something so out-of-theeeeis-world.
i told her my story and yeah she did go off th topic several times , but you know what ,
something just grabbed me then and there after she left and i felt so numb .
its like i'd forgotten how hysterical i actually was when she first found me in my room .
maybe its the mum-to-child calming , effect ?
now i know alls not lost .
anyway , all i was really trying to say was that , its like i'd forgotten how to be sad .
for just that moment .
ive been enlightened , hardeeharhar.
and that night ,
i slept like a log , at rest after passing fitful sleeps .
only that i was told that my crying and laughing in my sleep kept some awake .
so maybe it was some troubled sleep afterall.

i'm not trying to act emo or anything , cos this is not emo .
no . dont stereotype me just yet .
this is , a stage i go through at this point of time because well my life has turned out this way .
with fate , brings , my emotions and feelings and a mental test as to how i'll approach people , certain people now , and if , i am able to do it ''au naturale'' wthout affecting others and still be able to not lose myself in all this , erm i call it mind ''hulabalu?'' lol

anw , all this doesnt really make sense to others but it does to me some how and i wrote it out here so that one day i could come back to read it .
cos i'm saying , this is a rare experince of feelings and emotions i am going through right now and i dont want to forget how it feels though i'd say i wont wanna ever experience it again cos it hurts too . i just wanna be reminded .

and tell me something , if you do have the answer .
does it occur to you if youre like me too , why is it that sometimes certain people just get it all , or why is it that the harder you want something so bad , th more difficult it seems to be able to get hold of it ? or why is it that you still want to believe in something even when you know , its not happening . maybe cos you still have hope and faith .
but then tell me , is it foolish to have hope and faith in something that seems so out of your reach but might , with a little turn of events seem attainable ?

i dont know how i feel now .
my hearts in pieces ( like messed up ) well both if you get what i mean .
i dont feel sad , angry , happy , jealousy , pride , annoyed , irritated , anxious , love .
love . what is love . someone tell me that pronto because ive found my answer but im thinking i might be wrong afterall .
you know , when for a moment you lose all sense of feelings , it kind of scares you .
and gets me thinking , if my heart is now numb .
and right now , i wish it would remain like th way it is forever .

p.s . whoever reads all this , thinks im a fraud , but i understand . maybe what i said is nonsensical . and sounds like im trying to gain sympathy from others but really im not . if you guys find me a freak for now, i totally understand .
i just hope i'll be back soon .
cos even im getting all weirded out by me . truly .

stop putting your heart on display already . you might feel good , you dont know but its just gonna hurt me more .
i dont want to see it , but i still can't stop myself . because your every move to her is too precious to miss and i for one am not gonna let my emotions get in th way . but please if you only knew how bad it crushes me , stop it .

2008-10-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

mahjong freaks . esp kareen jeng & xing hui . tsktsk

yi chou and jengyih (unglam) haha

the back area of ''our house'' , w th bbq pits !

sizzling hot food ;D

a bunch of pretty girls i know who helped out alot at bbqueing

these hardworking peeps where doing most of th kitchen work

vannyssa and erm , yeah hand , lol in a mad attempt to go against her

will to finish every single morsel of that mountainous pasta pile

vvvannnyssa'sssssssssssssss .

benson's , and he actually finished 99.8% of that .

and couldnt move afterthat like an anaconda tt swallowed a cow whole

at the rocky area near th waters where we sat for 3hrs plus talking

and waiting for almost nonexistent sunrise to emerge ==.

t the right , i'm thinking its a port but not to sure ,

anw , this is th first lights of dawn at around 5plus-ish

in th weeeeeeeeee hours of th morning

still dark

the ships .

the first night when tingting wore those moomoo pants -.-

and her care bear (lol) that she can't sleep wthout ?!

sherlyn maggot sim rolled herself into a cocoon .

she's probably the ugliest caterpillar ive ever seen . (JK) ;D

joanna; i cant even tell what she's trying to be .

just cold i guess , the room was super chilly .

jiaqing was camshy at th moment & kareen was busy at work .lol

OTAH MADNESS

crazeeeeeeeeee.

hello !

ive been gone three days and two whole nights ! lol

for the long awaited chalet of course .

day one ,

when we arrived ,

me&sher&huiting , we took my mum's car thr and when we reached vanny was already there w her aunt unpacking stuff and so we helped .

then the rest turned up and we started getting ready for the bbq while some people , haha , imean th ''fantastic four'' went to rent bikes which they didnt even want to continue riding after like 30 mins , so evil tummy and i took over 2 bikes .

i rode th so called couple bike which was really weird cos no one was cycling on th bike behind me so it looked like my imaginenary friend was paddling along w me . ;D

i didn't really help out much on bbqueing th food .
and on th first day we had some difficulty starting th fire .

vanny me benson jeng went walked all th way to cheers to get supplies ,

which we made many trips to , on foot and on wheels (bicycle lah )

played lots of volleyball and ate alot .

there was bbq stingray ( which i got to try , and its nice ) , satay , otah , sweet potato , corn , taiwanese sausage , marshmallows , and idk man , we just ate like thr was no tmrw .

we didnt sleep on th first night but went up to watch naked weapon while some of them played cards , didn't join in cos im a noob T.T

and watched balls of fury but not th whole thing ,

then went down to th beach , with jeng leading th pack , and get this , jinen slept in th house alone and i have no idea how he did it . lol

we sat down at the rockyrock area . it was around 4am at that time .

we talked alot about th past 2 years of experiences in class and even talked about revelations , religions , and the end of th world ,

which if you ask me , haha , was really demoralising , th talk abt the end of mankind .

but anw , we didnt really get to catch sunrise

but we spent good quality time talking th early hours of th morning away .

then before going back , th others sat at a sheltered area while jeng , xinghui , jia qing and me went aside to hear supernatural experiences & stories . kinda irks you but i try not to think about it :}

went back only to find jinen still in deep deep slumber . lol

so others went back up to sleep while me vanny jeng stayed downstairs and talked about some things , while vanny prepared breakfast .

she's like a mother , take care and feed us so well .

way to go mom !

haha

after the whole house had woken up , xinghui left for work and jahwee and the rest who sisnt sleep over came back and me and huiting kept saying we would go to cheers t get more supplies but lol , th sun was freaking hot and we refused t walk and we couldnt borrow bikes from 2/5 cos they returned them . so i dozed off waiting for th bike rental . i woke up to loud shouts , chill , just some 2/5 guys and vanny and jeng gambling their money away ,

left w huiting after a while .

we played waterbombs too , vanny's style which was really fun

we started th second day bbq again and this time we did have a guest , only that i cant say who , lol cos she prefers to stay anonymous . haha

ask me no qs and i'll tell you no lies ;D

but she was great company and even did some viet talk for us .

she said she took vietnamese as her third lang .

kareen , xinghui and jengyih plus soem on and off players played mahjong all afternn and into th evening . its a wonder their not suffering from severe buttcramps having glued themselves t the chairs for so long . lol

sher and i played , lol soccer w yi chou , only that we were kinda noob , and he taught us how t kick th right way and after tt we played vb w him too.

we also played w waterbombs that sher and me painstakingly (lol) filled up .

but sadly jeng and yichou couldnt really join in cos they had to go off and wouldnt be good to sit in th car dripping wet . lol

we secretly went down th water slide too , only to be caught by this old dude who insisted that we come out at once since we were in clothes .

in th end yichou was dragged t th swimming pool , while vanny me jiaqing and jeng stayed behind and talked and yeah he was reluctant t go but couldnt stay cos of an early appointment th next day which is saddening .

he left before evryone else came back from th pool soaking wet , including yichou

and after yi chou left also , we all got a msg from jengyih that was so erm , heartbreaking ? sigh

made us erupt into tears , it was a very sad moment lah , i mean we all know that we might not be together next year , but being reminded like that , the truth , it hits you hard in th face , yeah , thats when it hurts .

that night ,

me and sher slept th earliest ,

it was a fitful sleep for me , my fever came during th night and wouldnt go .

i woke up many times at night , the howling wind and th rain outside didnt make things any better . i would say it was th worst night of my life . lol

in th end i got up from th bed at 6 plus and sat thr , i was freezing though th others claimed t be hot . then sher woke up and we went down and sat thr for some time .

i never felt so horrible before , my throat was like sore and hard and my head was throbbing like shit and eyeballs on fire , mucles ached so bad and my bones were pain and i was like having bonefever , lol walking down th stairs was such a feat for me .

after some time i went back up and slept this time , better , i used sher's blankets also . so didnt feel too cold .

woke up at 9.3o around thr and no choice , we all had to straighten up th place before checking out .

went t th office to turn in keys and etc ,

2/5 peeps also checking out .

then we waited forever for shuttle bus to come pick us .

we stopped at th pasirris mrt , and went separate ways .

i cabbed home w sherlyn while vanny left w ting and joanna .

fantastic four went t have their lunch .

reached home and check temp , was boiling 40 degrees

so i slept and took panadols .

by mid afternoon , fever went down to 38 degrees but still there .

my mum took care of me lol. she didnt even scold me for not drinking enough water cos all th food , esp th bbq i ate th past two days is toxins .

but thats not th case , my dad said it was because of my irregular eatings and sleep modes so my immune system is kinda low at th moment .

yeah its all my fault. haha

went t see doc lastnight and told me th same old stuff .

and put me on so much medications.

and said it was a nasty flu and its here to stay and will probably go only earliest next mon .

and he gave me an MC for todays trg .

so no trg today .

im so bored at home ,

im so isolated , long hours just sitting there ,

and i hate it cos when im not busy , i start to think about things that make me sad .

hopefully i can recover real quick and go out next week .

got to go watch movies before vanny goes to batam next week .

anyway , here's what i'll like to say ,

im gonna miss 2/1 so much , i never felt so close to certain people in class before ,

i swear that i didnt even feel reluctance or so much sadness at my p6 graduation .

i didnt even cry . i used to think it was a screwed up class , and last year , i wasted my time hanging around w only certain people and didnt bother to make other friends which will be about th biggest regret i have . friends that i made only this year really , which last year were like classmates only , i never thought that one day parting with you guys would seem so unbearable but yeah , the time has come and i cant rid th heavy feeling i have thats sinking to the bottom of my stomach and makes me feel like its the end . my heavy heart .

we've had many conflicts as a class and many arguments but we've had our good moments too .

i always thought at first that staying back each day for nomad practice was a chore , but i enjoyed myself during th whole experience cos i never felt more united and we never bonded or worked so well before . i learned more about some of you and although till today , th class is still divided into many cliques and groups , i'll miss all so badly , esp th goodfriends (you know who you are) that i have spent so much time w .

i already know w a damn heavy heart that i wont be able to go to the same class as some of my goodfriends cos its th obvious , and maybe i'll end up in a class full of ppl whom i dont know and might not accept me for who i am , not like you guys , and that scares me ,

i am scared to be alone cos im one who enjoys company ,

so i really pray hard that we go to the same class , lady luck be on our side .

and even if things dont turn out th way we want them to , i really hope that our strong bonds will keep our friendship going strong always and we will not let th fact that we are separated to stand in th way and still keep close contact and hang out often .

we will definitely make new friends but we will never ever forget th good old ones .

cos they'll be here to stay in our hearts for a long long time .

all the best everyone , when we go and see th class theyve put us in , hope its th class youve been hoping for , cos i'll be praying hard i'll go to a class that i want so badly.

peace all :)

i heard it all , what they said ,

they laughed about it , they joked .

not me , i dint' .i cried instead

cos its killing me , my broken heart .

i know that i dont stand a chance ,

but really , i cant accept this i really cant .

should i learn to live with the pain , should my heart go through th shame ,

should my wounds learn to heal all the same .

idk what to expect anymore , i rather i didnt know th truth cos it hurts so bad.

i never ever my whole life felt so much for anyone ,

i always asked people , asked freinds ,

how do you know i you're in love ?

how do you know its not an infatuation ?

everyone gave me different answers , some couldnt cos they didnt know .

one told me , you'll know when you are truly in love w someone .

and you know what , i finally know that now .

in th past , everytime th so called guy i liked had a gf or like someone else ,

i'll just be sad for that moment but forget abt him so fast .

but youre not like that . when i heard , i saw , i just cried because it was just too much to take

there's so much more i'll want to say , i even want to tell you ,

but its clear enough , you'll never see me anything more than a friend .

should my feelings for you continue to grow , i'll learn to live w th pain .

and now even i cant tell if i should smile cos we're friends , or cry beacuse i know that we cant be anything more ,

2008-10-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

been guilty of letting blog rot for days !
sorry pal ,

hoe , im talking to a blog .

haha , anw , nth eventful th past few days ,
today i met up w vanny to go shopshopshop around for things for th chalet.
yes , you scurvy dawgs and hungry hogs , food to fill you and make you fat .
well , tt includes me . teehee .

we wanted t hand in our streaming slips thingy , but sigh ,
we totally forgot today's depavali , or is it th eve ?
im too lazy to check anw .
I WANT HSM !
ok tts random but yeah ,
havent watched it until now !!!!
and it came out like during th weekends .
sis still having exams ! cant watch
i just got to watch it by this week.
the coffin too ! yes , not really crazy , scared really but yeah ive got too.
ok , im not making sense , lets go back to what i was saying

vanny and me bought stuff ,
we're buying more stuff-o tmrw .
and i went to see them bikes again.
and im like really tight on cash ,
i wanted t buy th cheapest , which still looks kinda nice . 89.90 one or th 99.90 one
if im gonna be a good sport to muhself , i might consider buying suspensions
cos i go more for ruggard then speed .
yi chou is the pro on this stuff anw .
follow th leader !
we'll go cycling , one group through th hols !
whee so fun ;D

i plan to cycle to school everyday next year .
which makes me a greenie , cos yeah its more green to cycle .
and yeah its all for excercise right ! ;D
gonna cycle every single day .
except for thunderous skies-y days and heavy rain .
anyone wants a ride ? hehe
P.S. mr mannan , if tts how i spell your name , where did you buy that umbrella hat man .
its so dope i wanna buy it and i can wear it on rainy days and cycle .
INVINCIBLE
now nth shall stand in my way
harharhar .

ok , im sliding off again ,
erm , like i was saying , after me and vannyssa saw bikes and explored whole fair price ,
searched for vegetarian food , for gha khee , haha she's a '' all for veggies ! ''
went to have lunch , and it was 3 plus gg to 4 when we did
didnt bring out money , sigh ,
1.50$ in my wallet . what a saddo
lol , she treat me to lunch , th richgirl tt she is ,
and yeah , im gonna treat her back soon .
lol .

and im not going for trg on wed , no matter what .
ms yeo is coming for th bbq and why should i miss like what 4 hrs plus just for trg .
sounds childish , and like imma '' dont know how to set my priorities right'' kinda kid .
but , really (t netball trs)
i and jahwee , and yeah even carol have a valid reason ,
we will be like away ,
and surely it wont hurt to let us off this time to enjoy ,
what diff does it make if its a family chalet ,
will you call me & th rest back for trg ?
i wonder .
and , its our last year in th same class as some of these friends ,
cant we just not go trg this once beacuse of that ?
and i know this sounds really bad , and bitchy of me ,
but we're not even th school team , we're rec team ,
and so though we still have to train hard like school team and be just as commited ,
we are still rec team , and dont hold as much burden like sch team ,
cut us some slack this time , and let us go .
is it that bad , if we dont come trg once to go relax ?
and plus going from aloha loyang to school is like daym far .
its from one end to another . so we gotta leave at like 2 , and reach sch for trg at 3
then trg will prob end at 6 plus , by th time we reach th chalet again , it'll be like 7 plus .
is that like friggin late .
and , if we dont wanna trouble ourselves , and take cab , th fees will come up to 30bucks .
just picture that man ,
bleeding wallets . like BLEDDY BLEEDING.

sigh . i know its bad , but you know what guys ,
im not going .
uh-uh .
im gonna stay at the chalet , enjoy myself w my friends ,
stuff myself with tons of bbq meat and godknowswhatsit ,
play like hell and no ones gonna stop me .
try lugging me away , do as you please but
just in case it isnt obvious enough ,
im' kinda huge and heavy so its not gonna be easy .

yeah , punishments and scoldings will come ,
but i'll take it all .
its worth it .
im not some stupid country bumpkin yaw know ,
i know if sth is worth missing for , or cant be missed .

sorry teachs,
not gonna go training !
no suh .
not .

i wont try to drag carol and jahwee if they dont want ,
but seriously . give us a break man

;DD

p.s. stop laughing dude , get a grip .
and no , dont resort to toying , its not gonna help